


Like I'm Alive Again- a Woozi x Reader

by KingOfGaes



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Cutesy, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Idols, Reader-Insert, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Self-Insert, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26727709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingOfGaes/pseuds/KingOfGaes
Summary: (y/n) just got accepted into a group in Pledis entertainment and finds out she will have to get along with 13 other boys. They’re all kind, funny and nice, but after spending more time with them all, she feels a little differently when it comes to one of them…he's just so sweet, cute and hard-working... but she can't possibly like him, right?
Relationships: Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. Day Zero-

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vaely](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Vaely).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy !

_ It should be illegal to make someone this nervous _ , you think as your hand taps on the table. You send another quick glance at the entry of the coffee shop, but no one is coming in, so your mind starts to wonder. _ Which group did I get accepted into? Do I even know them ? What if they don’t like me ?  _ You take a deep breath to calm yourself down although it feels like it didn’t do much. 

“Alright.” you whisper, “I can’t stay seated here forever”.  _ Might as well wait outside. _ You finish the remnants of your coffee and get up, making your way through the tables, still checking your phone in case someone sent you a message without you noticing, grabbing the door handle with your empty hand and- bumping into someone ?

“Oh! Sorry, are you okay ?” 

The cold outside air hits you as you look up to see that you walked into a cute boy that seems to be your age “I’m so sorry-”, you begin, but he smiles nervously and assures you that it’s okay. You see him look around the coffee shop before his eyes fall back on you. “You must be…(y/n) ?” “Yes, that’s me. That means you’re the guy from Pledis ?” “Oh- he holds the door open and the both of you walk out- My stage name is Woozi but since you’ll be joining us you can call me Jihoon”

“Oh! So you’re part of the group I'll be joining? Nice to meet you!” As you begin walking next to him, he tilts his head “They didn’t tell you what group you’re joining ?” 

“They only told me that someone was going to fetch me and show me around” 

He nodded: “they probably didn’t want to scare you”, 

“why would something scare me?” you giggle. “How many members are you ?”

“Excluding you ?” 

you nod, and he continues. “Thirteen.” “THIRTEEN ?” “All boys.” “ALL BOYS ???”

He doesn't say anything else for a while, and you look around the neighbourhood as you walk. How boring that the sky is grey, if it were raining it’d at least be a cosier ambiance.

“Don't worry” Woozi says, breaking the silence, “They’re all nice” 

“I don’t doubt it, i just hope they all like me”. Your hands slide into pockets in a lazy attempt to feel warmer.  _ I really should’ve grabbed a bigger jacket. _

“Oh !” You suddenly remember “My stuff won’t arrive until a couple of days, there’s been a screw up with the boxes…”

“That’s okay, we’ll have someone get you something more comfortable. If anything a member could just hand you a couple of shirts for the time being…” “Really ? Thank you so much, you guys are lifesavers..” 

He looks across the street and back at you: “we’re here !” 

You look up at the building and pause for a second.  _ So this is where I'll be staying for the next few years. _

===================

As you walk into the building, you finally take your hands out of your jackets pockets and breathe in the warm air. Looking around, the whole place kind of reminds you of college dorms,  _ maybe this won’t be so bad _ . Jihoon begins to show you around, he first takes you to the dance practice rooms, there are like six of them and as you walk through the hall, you can already see some people practice inside, and a Pristin song blasting through a speaker of one of the rooms-  _ oh my god- i miss Pristin… -  _

You’re then shown around a common kitchen, taken up a couple flights of stairs, 

“If you want to get to my office you have to pass through the fifth dance practice room, it’s practically claimed as the Seventeen dance room so if you ever want to practice, go there.”, Jihoon explains as you try to control your breathing to not seem out of breath while walking up the stairs, nodding at everything he says.. “Everyone has individual dorms, so you don’t have to worry about sharing with another guy, and yours is on the third floor.” He quickly stops at the second floor and leads you through the hallway “Sorry, I just have to grab your room key from my dorm before we go up", he explains. 

As he opens a door and hastily walks in, you get a glance of the inside of his dorm: a bed, desk, wardrobe, window, little personal objects organised around the room. A poster hangs on the wall above his desk.    
  
“whoa….it’s so clean” you whisper, as he comes back outside and locks his door. 

“Was that an X-Men poster ?” 

he looks up at you, and laughs a nervous laugh: “yeah, you like them?” “I’ve never really watched them” “you should ! I really like them.” 

As you walk up the stairs to the third floor, he asks you about your favourite movie and you explain the plot of (favourite/m), and finish right before you reach your destination: your room door. Jihoon hands you the key and you open it. It looks just like his, but the furniture is inverted as my dorm is on the other side of the hallway. He waits at the door as you look around, touching the wooden desk, noticing that it’s all been cleaned before you arrived.  _ We all have our individual showers, thank god _ , you think, as you notice the closed door that probably leads to a small bathroom.

You turn around and see Woozi, telling him he can come in. He takes a step forward and asks how you like it. “It’s perfect !”. Both of you smile, and there’s an awkward pause.

“Well, normally I'm supposed to leave and let you organise your stuff but you said that they would arrive in a day or two so I guess you have a free afternoon… if you have any questions, I’ll probably be in my office, if you’re hungry there’s a convenience store down the street, and Vernon’s dorm is to your right, so he can help you if you’re lost…” “Awesome! Thank you so much. I have to be at the practice room tomorrow at nine, right ?” He nods, smiles, and closes the door on his way out. 

====================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,047


	2. Thirteen Boys-

As soon as the door was shut, you took another slow spin to look at your room. It was still morning, and if it weren’t cloudy, the sun would’ve shined through the thin curtains. It’s so quiet… so peaceful...For the first time in a week, your nerves we aren't all over the place. You sat down on your bed, realising just how empty everything seemed. _Look at how far you’ve come… You’re now in a group! And a popular one, at that…. you have your own dorm and you'll soon have 13 new friends, hopefully._ It’s weird to tell yourself that everything you’ve ever worked for led to this very moment.

Time flies by and it’s already the afternoon. By now you’ve imagined where you'd put all your stuff, posters, how you'd organise the wardrobe, and you’ve even gotten yourself a cup of instant ramen from the store. _Thank god I at least have my phone charger_ , you think as you search up your favourite playlist on YouTube and plug your phone in. But as soon as you get comfortable on your bed and grab your still-steaming bowl of ramen, someone knocks on the door. 

“Come in, it’s open!” you say, putting the bowl down and getting out of bed, to see Jihoon standing with clothes in his arms. You step aside and he walks in, putting the folded pile on your desk. “The hoodie and leggings are mine since I'm the only one that’s kind of your size, and Jun gave me a t-shirt he said you could keep since he never wears it, it’s all clean, I promise.” You open the hoodie to see that it’s Seventeen merch, and giggle. “Thanks, this is perfect”. You slip it on, and although Woozi is the shortest, it’s still a tiny bit big on you. You give a little twirl and ask, enthusiastically: “Whatcha think ?”. “A bit big, isn’t it ?….I asked and they said they would get you official merch by tomorrow” “You think it’s big ? I think it’s perfect. Who doesn’t like oversized hoodies ?” He smiles and nods “Well, if you’re happy with it then that’s all that matters”.

=================

You're running down the stairway, hoping you're not late, but you set an alarm so there’s really no reason why you should be. As you find your way around and eventually make it to the dance practice rooms, you can hear bursts of laughter coming from behind the door. You send a quick glance at the sign, to make sure you're at the right place: “Dance Room #5” 

_Alright, no need to be nervous_ , You think, trying to convince yourself that all is alright as you push the handle down and swing the door open. All chatter immediately stopped, as the boys scanned you, standing in the doorway. “Hi… am I in the wrong place?”. The boys gave a quick look at one of the guys, who took a second to think before it clicked “You’re the new member !”

“If this is Seventeen, then yes that would be me”, you say, still standing awkwardly at the door.

“Woaaah I didn’t know a girl would be joining us! I’m Seungkwan!” Said one of the guys.

“Nice to finally meet you all, I’m (y/n).”

“She’s cute too! Hi, I’m Mingyu”. One by one the boys began presenting themselves: “I’m Vernon” “The guy in the dorm next to mine, right ?” You asked. He nodded and they continued: “Joshua”, “DK”, “Dino”, “Jeonghan”, “S.coups”, “Wonwoo”, “The8”, “Hoshi” and finally: “Jun.. the one who gave you the shirt”, he explained. You thanked him, and Seungkwan spoke up:

“Wooziiii ! The new member is here!”. A few seconds later, the boy who you'd met yesterday and who’s hoodie you were still wearing walked out of his office. “Great, you’re all here.”, he said, looking up at you and smiling before sitting down on the floor near the other guys. S.Coups briefly explained the group’s history to you and told you you'd have to choose a unit eventually, but for now they wanted to see how you got along with the members and your skill level.

We also learnt that we all had an interview later that day, which made you a tiny bit nervous, but you tried not to think about it too much. As you walked out the practice room, Mingyu came up to you and suggested that you eat out with him, Woozi, Hoshi, Dino and Wonwoo to celebrate joining the group, and you couldn't really say no. 

Soon enough we made it to the restaurant and got settled, and you found it to be a little too fancy of a place for you to be wearing a hoodie, but you had no other option so you chased the thought out of your head.

=======================

“...so hear me out, we were in the abandoned building, right? Everyone had gone through the same thing and saw the three actors, but Wonwoo SWEARS there was a fourth girl who just stood there. Crazy thing is that he’s the only one who saw her-” “I DID see her. I tell you!” The whole table laughed and Mingyu continued: “You should’ve seen his face when we realised nobody else had seen her but him, he swears it's a ghost”

They really did make me feel at ease. I hadn’t known them for more than twenty four hours but somehow I’d already made friends.. _This is going so much better than I expected..._

“At what time is the interview by the way ?” You asked, and Woozi looked at the time on his phone. “We still have two hours, we can get dessert if you guys want” “Is that even a question ?”. You giggled and got up to pay the check but Woozi assured me that it was his treat, for congratulating you on joining the group. He really is too kind with me, they all are… We waited for Jihoon in front of the restaurant and he slipped his winter jacket on as he walked out the building, before opening the car door, and Wonwoo asked the question we were all thinking as he slid into the back seat “What do you guys want to eat ?”. 

“Head straight for the interview building, I know a place nearby” said Dino, so that's what we did. The car ride was smooth, and you leaned to your right to whisper to Woozi’s “Do you know where he’s taking us ?” he looked over at Dino before answering: “No idea”.

=================================

Mingyu opened the door to the interview room, and you could see the table full of snacks in front of the fake living room in which we’d be filming. “We shouldn’t have eaten crepes if we’d known there was going to be sweets…”, he complained. “Are you kidding ? The more the merrier”. The boys agreed and we were given our outfits for the interview, and seated to get our makeup done. 

The rest of the group came in, and S.Coups had to go back outside to call Vernon since he was late. Once we were all camera ready, we got seated and the host sat in front of us. You took a look at all the members, in awe. _Woah.. we look so cool right now…_ And before you knew it, the interview began. 

“I see you boys have a new member!” “Hiii-you waved at the camera, trying a minimum to act cute, knowing a lot of people would probably watch this once it airs- I’m (y/n), I'm the new SVT member!”

The host continued: “She’s cute, too, you boys are lucky! Well, tell us a little bit about yourself. How is it to be the only girl in a group of 13 boys ?” “So, I’m born in (place/birth), I’m (age), and I actually I didn’t know I was going to be in a group with 13 boys until yesterday-” “Wow that must've been a shocker-” “I certainly wasn’t mentally prepared, definitely”, you laughed. _Okay… this isn’t so bad…_ The room was warm and the lights weren’t helping temperature-wise, but at least they blinded you from seeing the production team and making you more nervous than you should be.

“You say you only met them yesterday ? Do you already have a favourite ?” 

“Oh my-” You looked around at all the boys and giggled “I have to pick a favourite? I barely met them!”

“She’s lying...” Mingyu said, jokingly “I’m the favourite of course-” You put your hands in front of him as if to bring the attention back at you, playfully. “That’s what he wants you to think, you see, I don’t have a favourite, they’re all super nice”. They laughed, and Dino spoke: “Hey, you’re not allowed to say you don’t have a favourite when Woozi bought your lunch.” “That’s true!” Replied Mingyu, the two of them attacking me in front of the camera.

“Ohh one of them already bought you lunch ?” 

“It was to congratulate me for joining, of course!” “Of course, and what does the gentleman himself have to say about it? ” The boys turned towards Jihoon, caught off guard. “Ah-It really was just to welcome her to the team, we haven’t had a new member since the group was formed, so it’s a big deal to us..”

“That’s understandable. I’ve heard a lot of girl fans aren’t particularly fond of (y/n) though, they’re worried she might cause you to disband or fight…” 

S.Coups spoke this time: “I’m sure that’s because they haven’t gotten to know her yet, all of this is really new, they’ll wind up opening up to her, I'm sure. She’s really skilled.” Vernon nodded: “I see why they’re worried, but I know it’ll be alright.” You smiled at them, and honestly, if you weren’t being filmed right now, you’d probably have broken down. _You don’t have to remind me how much is at stake, I know that messing up isn't an option_. You tried to push yourself to stay confident, though: _Easy. All I have to do is not mess up, then._

“Like Vernon said, it’s normal they feel that way, I don’t blame them, really. But I do hope I get a chance to prove myself as a member of the group and get accepted.”

The host seems satisfied with your answer, and you mentally sigh in relief. He goes on to ask another series of questions, to which Seungkwan answers /very/ enthusiastically, making everybody laugh.

=================

“See, that wasn’t so bad, you had nothing to be nervous about..” S.Coups says to you as you both walk out the room into the hallway. “I know, it’s just that I’m not used to the interviews yet..” “You’ll get a hang of it soon enough, trust me”, Hoshi says, jogging to catch up with you two.

“Do you guys usually finish filming stuff this late ?” “Oh-you have no idea, sometimes shooting lasts till 3am” “Yikes…that kind of sounds fun tough, no ?” Hoshi laughs at you: “Yeah, sure, I want to see you say that again when we’re on our way back to the dorms at 4am…”

=================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,859


	3. Going Seventeen-

After two weeks of living in the Pledis building, you began getting used to the routine.

You woke up to find that it was a sunny day for once, and a stream of faint sunlight peeked into the room, and with the quiet that came with early morning, it felt nothing far from ethereal. Your clothes and things had finally arrived, so you could now see the posters you'd hung up above your desk, and all your scraps and things spread around the room.  _ It’s starting to feel like home.  _ You made your way over to the wardrobe and grabbed the first thing at the top of your assigned “dance clothes” pile since you were just going to practice, and didn’t need to wear anything fancy.

You opened the bathroom door with your shoulder, still holding onto your clothes, and took a shower. You normally weren’t a morning shower person, but when you finish work at midnight and are always too tired to shower when you get back to your dorm, you learn to adapt. Once you stepped out and wiped the fog off your mirror, you looked at yourself.  _ THIS person is an idol ? Wow, god must really let anyone become an idol these days.  _ You sigh, kind of giggling at your i-just-woke-up face.  _ If someone saw me laughing at myself right now, they’d think I’m crazy…. maybe i am? Nah, i can’t be… crazy people don’t know they’re crazy... _

You teared the wrapper of a chocolate protein bar and took a bite all while jogging down the stairs to the dance practice rooms and made your way to room #5. Since You don't have to work on any specific song yet, you decided to learn the choreography for “Home” and settled on focusing on Jun’s part. You took a final bite of your chocolate bar and turned your mini-speaker on and got into position:  “ 내가 뭘 어쩌겠어 나는 네가 없으면” .  A slowed down version of the choreography video played on the computer in front of you as you tried to match your movements to theirs... You’d still need to have someone guide you a bit for it to be perfect but for now you just needed to get the basic idea. After a few tries, and quick glances at the mirrored wall to see if your movements were correct, you began getting the hang of it.

“Because you're my home, home, home, home 

네가 울 수 있는 곳

나도 울 수 있는 곳 “

The song faded away as you stood there, panting.  _ I should take a break…  _

“Not bad, you’re a fast learner.” Mingyu, Vernon and Hoshi walked through the door, and put their bags down, as you tilt your head, to Mingyu's amusement. “Did you not see the time? Practice starts in 20min” “You’re joking-” “I’m not!”, protested the tallest guy in the group. “He’s not”, Joshua said, walking through the doorway and putting his headphones into his pocket. 

You pick your phone up to check the time and sure enough, it’s almost practice time. You let out a little laugh, eyes still fixed on the screen: “The8 and Seungkwan are spamming the group chat, again ???” Mingyu rolled his eyes dramatically and checked his phone, too. “Someone call them and tell them to come warm up with us, if they’re that bored”. Vernon grinned: “I bet you they’ll both come late even if we do” “You mean _ ESPECIALLY _ if we do” You added, making Vernon chuckle.

That’s when Woozi walked out of his office, to everyone’s surprise.

Mingyu finally asks: “You were here this whole time ?” “Got inspired to write a song… fell asleep in the office..” He explained, visibly still tired. “Did you finish the song, at least ?” “I didn’t like it so I gave up on three fourths of it…” “Ouch.. that’s harsh”.

He took off his hoodie, revealing the sleeveless gym shirt he was wearing underneath. You’d never realised how fit he actually was, since most the guys wore their hoodies on while practicing, and of course, you also hadn’t noticed how you’d been staring at him, until he looked over at you and smiled awkwardly, waving hello. You tried to get a grip of yourself, and waved back.  _ kdjdjd oh god, did he catch me staring ? it’s be weird if he did, I didn't mean to… _

But you didn't have time to worry about it, since the rest of the members walked in as we began our warm-ups.

==========================

We finished practice, breathless, and sat down to rest for a while. 

“Alright, so. Schedule for the week: …” Said S.Coups, the only one standing. “We’ll be shooting a Going Seventeen video today, so everyone has to meet up in the practice room at 3, and tomorrow we have another interview at 9am, but we'll be live this time. They’ll probably want to talk about (y/n), so- he looked at you- better be mentally prepared.” You nodded and he continued: “And we’ll mention that we have a new song that’ll be co-written between (y/n) and Woozi, but we don’t have to tell them anything more than that. No dates, no title..” “We don’t even have a title yet”, said Joshua. The group laughed and you were all free to do whatever you wanted until 3pm. 

You got up and waited in front of Woozi’s office for him to unlock the door, since more often than not, he kept it closed. Once the door was opened, you got to see the office for the first time.

“It’s… just an office..”, You said, noticing that you sounded disappointed. “It’s a little basic-He went to open the blinds behind the desk and sat down, facing a pile of paperwork- what did you expect ?” “A framed X-Men poster, for sure”, you answered jokingly. He chuckled before handing you a piece of paper. “The song we have to write,” he explained, “ I haven’t figured out all the lyrics yet but we at least have what it’s about.” 

Your eyes sped through the scribbled words and you get the basic idea “So… a kind-of love song but more focused on the hesitation and not being able to choose ?” “Yes.”

============================

3pm rolled around faster than you'd expected and soon we were headed to the Going Seventeen video filming location, and as per usual, we were not told where we were going or what the episode was about. 

We all climbed the stairs of a building to finally make it to a big apartment. They had us sit in the living room. You scanned the place and was in awe, it was so modern and pretty and well decorated.  _ I wouldn't mind living here… _ Once everything was prepared and we were considered camera-ready, the shooting began and they told us what was going on. A deep villainy-voice came out from a speaker, but we could see the director speaking into the mic behind the cameras:

“Today, you will all be playing a game of Mafia” 

The boys let out a chorus of “Ohhhs” and some grabbed their friends excitedly. One exclaimed “Yoo we haven’t played Mafia in forever !”, but in their excitement, you didn't catch who it was. 

For the game, we were all individually brought into a room and showed on screen what our role was. You were either a good guy: a cop, doctor or citizen, or you were a bad guy: a mafia.

==========

The point of the game is as follows: 

_ The mafia hide a cash prize, and the citizens have to find it in three 5min rounds. Between each round, the mafias choose to kill somebody, the doctor chooses to save somebody and the cop gets to choose as a person and check what their role is. Between each round, all the players also choose to vote someone out. If the citizens find the money, or vote all the mafias out, they win! If nobody finds the money and a mafia is still alive, then the mafia wins ! _

_ /Author’s Note: If you don't know what it is and want to watch SVT play Mafia, you can watch the Going Seventeen 2020, ep4, it might be easier to understand by watching our boys play for real./ _

================

The game was a blast! You were a cop, and apparently you were supposed to die but Woozi was the doctor and saved you. We eventually voted out two mafias: DK and Jeonghan, but there was one last left and we just couldn't figure it out !! Nobody could find the prize money, and when the game eventually ended, the last mafia, Wonwoo, showed us that they’d taped it on top of a ceiling fan blade, to which we all were shocked at how smart of a hiding place it was.

“How were we supposed to find it up there ??” Mingyu asked, laughing.

“I know, we’d have to have carried someone on our shoulders to look up there,” replied Sengkwan. 

We finished filming later than expected, and walked down the building stairs all talking to each other. “I KNEW Wonwoo was the mafia, I just thought it’d be suspicious if I said it and didn't want you to vote me out” you said, pissed. “Yeahh suuree”, said Mingyu from behind you, not convinced. “I’m serious!!” 

=========================

Since we knew we had an interview in the morning, we didn’t want to stay up late, and everyone left for their dorms at 8pm, but as soon as you closed the room door behind you, your stomach growled. You were hit with the sudden realisation that all you ate today was a protein bar, and went to buy yourself something to eat. You were trying your best to forget that you did, in fact, have an interview in the morning and tried not be nervous, so you searched up a SVT playlist in your laptop and hit play:

“아침엔 모닝콜 필수던 내가..” 

_ Aju Nice ! Aaaa I love this one... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,662.


	4. Landslide-

The lights circled around the set that was meant to look like a living room, as the show’s theme music played in the background. SVT fans were seated in the audience section, although we could barely see them thanks to the blinding lighting, and you thought of how they came to watch you all even though you were filming this early in the morning. _I’m really lucky to have been accepted into such a popular group, aren’t I…._

“Hello ! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, once again to the Realman Show!” The audience cheered as the show host waved hello. “ And for this week’s special guests, the famous K-pop group: SEVENTEEN!”. The audience broke into applause and cheers once again, and we waved and smiled until it calmed down. The host turned his attention to us, and began: “I see you’ve gotten a new member since the last time I saw you guys! As if you weren’t already a lot of members !” 

Vernon laughed and spoke into the mic, looking at you: “Yeah, we’re glad to have her! Here, (y/n)-” He leaned over, Woozi grabbed the mic and passed it on to you. “Aww thank you Vernon, I'm glad to have joined! I’m not used to all the interviews yet so I’m a little nervous-” You explained. 

The host looked at you, then spoke to the audience, pretending to whisper: “And she’s cute, too! They’re lucky!”. You giggled, and he kept going: “No, seriously, one of the guys must have their eye on you, or at least you must have your eye on one of them ! -he vaguely gestured towards the boys- Look at them, they’re all so handsome, don’t you agree ?” That last question had been asked to both you and the audience, so you waited after all the cheers died down and took a look around at the boys: “They are all cute, but sadly, no…” “Awwww! It’s alright, you don’t have to tell us just yet!”, the host teased, to the audience’s amusement.

“Well, when are we at least going to see you perform ?” “Well, Speaking of, we do plan on having a new song released soon, that me and Woozi will have written together” “Oooooh..” the host seemed interested, and went on, looking at the audience for approval: “Can you guys sing us a snippet ?” 

You gasp dramatically, smiling. “Of course not, that’s classified information~”

_More like, we don’t even have a third of the lyrics written so I literally cannot do that._

Seungkwan spoke into his mic: “But she can sing you something else, if you’d like ?”

A chorus of "Ooo" ’s and cheers could be heard from the audience, and the host nodded, gesturing with his hand that you could begin.

You take a deep breath and sing the first song that comes through your mind: _Shine, by Pentagon,_ but you slow it down a little to fit the show’s mood:

“Everybody knows ひとつだけ言うよ

Listen to my heart ドキドキしちゃうけど

そうさ love you, love you, love you

Like you, like you, like you

愛してる….”

The audience broke in to whistles and applause, and the host looks at you, stunned. “You guys weren’t kidding when you said she was good!”. The boys smiled, and Woozi grabbed a mic: “We told you so…”. You smiled at them, your heart beating like crazy, honestly just glad you didn’t mess that up. 

=======

As You walked across the empty dance practice room #5 to enter Woozi’s office, you jumped at the sound of someone’s voice behind you:

“You did great today, by the way…”

You turned around, to see Jihoon walking towards you, holding another pile of papers. He smiled and opened the office door for you, “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” 

“Oh no- you said, a little red- I just didn’t think someone was behind me.”

As you both sat down in the office, you re-read the draft of the song lyrics. _Alright let’s get started_. But you never truly got started.

It took you way longer than expected to get any lyrics down, because everything the two of you came up with sounded wrong. No matter what you came up with, the story just didn’t flow right. “Okay but see, if you write that it makes it sound like she will pick someone in the end-”, you explained. Jihoon nodded in response, still staring intensely at the paper, pencil in hand, but writing nothing. We were both clearly tired at this point and there was no way we’d get anything done.

“But we can’t have the girl not pick anyone, that’ll be anticlimactic…” Jihoon pointed out.

“Mhmm but the whole point is that she can’t choose…” 

You both sighed and you looked at the time: 00:24am. After a long moment of silence, Jihoon got up.

“Where ya headed ?” “Getting cold water… want a cup?” “Ooh yes please.”

You waited for a while, letting your feet dangle from the chair you were seated in, placing your head in your crossed arms, on the table. _If I had my pillow right now I’d fall right asleep._

==========

You opened your eyes to the sound of someone typing on the computer, to see that the sun was now shining through the blinds. Jihoon was at his desk, and as you lifted your head off the table, confused, you noticed that a jacket had been placed around your shoulders to keep you warm. The boy whose office you'd just slept in tuned to you and smiled. “Slept alright ?”. With the light coming from behind him, and him speaking in his raspy morning voice, he looked nothing far from an angel right now.

You turned into a blushing mess. “Why didn’t you wake me up ?”. He went back to typing, before saying “You seemed tired.” 

Embarrassed, you gently take the jacket off your shoulders and hang it behind your chair, and pull the paper with unfinished lyrics towards you. The two of you still hadn’t made any progress.

“What time is it ?”.

“Umm…- Jihoon quickly glanced at the corner of his computer- 7:30am” 

You try to pull yourself together and fix your hair, straighten your clothes and get your cheeks back to a normal colour, before getting back to work. Unluckily for the both of you, inspiration was still scarce.

The morning passed slowly, and once midday struck, you got out of your chair, fed up. “I’m going to get some air…” “Mhmm.. alright…”” Jihoon said, quickly looking up from the song lyrics in front of him to watch you walk through the door. You walked down the now-familiar hallways and out the front door, letting the cold outside air drown all thoughts of not-yet-written-song-lyrics. For a sunny day, it was still surprisingly cool outside, but you weren’t complaining, and began to wander around the street, staring at the shop windows, the little displays of a myriad of shoes, necklaces, suits, furniture, and brightly coloured “For sale” signs. 

It had been a while since you’d walked around an empty street for no reason, and you hadn’t noticed how much you’d been longing for it. You couldn’t hear birds singing but the faint sounds of cars passing and people talking were enough to make the place feel alive. Without noticing, you stopped in your tracks in front of the little store in the corner. The “7Eleven” sign displayed at the top was supposedly a light-up one, but you’d never seen it function properly before. You found yourself pushing the glass door, and the electronic bell meant to announce the entry of customers softly chimed. _It’s surprisingly warm in here…_ You walked through the colourful aisles and picked up a couple packets of instant ramen, before heading to the cashier. A high school girl with her bright pink phone charging behind the counter rang up your items and spoke up: “That’ll be 230₩”. You hand her the money and tell her to keep the change, before heading back to Pledis kitchen.

As you walk back into the dance practice room ,you notice that a few boys were now inside, practicing. You walk across the room, and Seungkwan sees you open the office door with your shoulder, and protests, teasingly: “How come she can get in without knocking but you make a whole fuss when we do ?” 

You look up at him and walk through the door backwards, sticking your tongue out. “Jealous, much ?”, before setting the steaming cups of ramen down on the table and heading back to work.

==========

Jihoon stared at the paper, focused and eventually shook his head: “It’s not it.” You both sighed. _We’ve been at it forever…_ You grabbed the paper cup of ice-cold water that was on the desk and took a long sip, letting it cool you down a bit, and your eyes widened. You set the cup down in a “thud” and blur out the words in your head: “I came up with something that might just work-” Jihoon looked at you, excitedly, waiting for you to speak more.

“Okay, so how about, we scratch the original idea for the ending, and make it that she doesn’t _choose a guy_ , but just accidentally falls in love anyway ?”

Jihoon stared at you for a second, confused. “Explain..”

“Like…”, you took a pencil from his desk and scribbled words onto the wrinkled page, before lifting it up. “Like… we finish the song with something like _“I didn’t know falling was an option, but I guess I’m stuck in a landslide”._

“Landslide ?”

==============

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,597.


	5. Lie And Dare-

The music faded away and you looked at yourself in the dance practice room mirror, out of breath.  _ Still not close to perfect... _ You’d spent the past day trying to learn the choreography to “HIT”, and since you and Jihoon have finished writing “Landslide” , you were waiting for Hoshi and others to finish making the choreography for it.

You grabbed your water bottle and took a sip, scanning the room: the fact that it was fully lit and had a wall of mirrors just made the place seem even more empty, since it was too early for anyone to come practice. You sighed, pressing the play button on your phone, and got into position, mentally singing the lyrics as you moved around, attempting to stay focused, before giving up once you realised you were too early in comparison to the song. 

“Ughh- how am I getting worse at this” you whispered, frustrated, grabbing your water bottle once again. 

“Well maybe you should, you know.. take a break ?” 

You turned towards the door to see Hoshi leaning against it. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing the choreography for Landslide ?” you replied, pissed, before noticing how mean you sounded: “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” “Don’t worry about it...I’m just taking a break,'' he said with a smile, and you were relieved to see he didn’t take it personally “..so…. want me to help you with the choreography for HIT ?”. “You would ??” you asked, enthusiastic. “Yeah, of course !” 

You walked to the middle of the room and he took the phone away from your hands, to control the music. “Aright, show me what you’ve got” 

As you danced, he stood back and counted the measures underneath his breath, directing you along the way: “See, you’re going in too fast, you should take a second to stop before you keep going”, and you took mental notes. Once the song started again, he began dancing in sync in front of you and before you knew it, you'd gotten the hang of it.

“Oh thank god- I did it !” you said, giggling and jumping around excitedly. “Did you see that ? It was good, finally !” 

“Yeah you did awesome !” 

“Good morning..” 

Hoshi and you turned to the door, not having noticed that Jihoon had already entered the room and was putting his gym bag down. He smiled awkwardly “What are you guys laughing about ?”. He smiled some more as you happily explained that you’d mastered the choreography for HIT, and you heard Hoshi walk beside you, and give his back to Jihoon as he talked to you:

“Hey, I was thinking, we haven’t really talked...and the both of us haven't had breakfast, so if you have a free morning we could grab brunch ?” 

You saw Jihoon tense up: “No”. 

Hoshi turned towards him, confused: “What ?” 

“I just don’t think you should”. Jihoon grabbed the bag he’d just put down a minute ago and began walking to his office, not looking at any of you. 

“What are you talking about ? You guys have gone for lunch with her before.” argued Hoshi.

“Listen- he paused- I’ve thought about it, and I don’t think it’s a good idea...” He unlocked his office door and his hand stayed on the handle for a while “... if the media thinks you’re dating, it can tear the group apart”. And on that note, he closed the office door behind him, leaving Hoshi and you alone in the middle of the dance practice room.

==============

The following morning, we’d heard the good news that the choreography for Landslide was ready, and even better yet, that it had been tweaked to perfection.

This meant we now had a lot more hours of group practices as we all had to learn the moves and be perfectly in sync. 

We all learnt the choreography pretty fast, and by the end of the day, to the untrained eye, we honestly looked performance-ready. You re-watched the video of the group dancing you’d filmed and smiled, before showing it to Vernon who was walking next to you, as you headed back to your dorms. “Hey we’re not half bad, we’ll have mastered it by tomorrow”, he said, and you nodded in agreement.

_ It’s now been four weeks since I've joined the group...Time went by so fast, oh my god... _

==============

Somehow, after dinner, we’d all found ourselves talking in the empty lobby of the reception floor. Since it was dark out and the doors were now locked and most people had gone back to their dorms, we had the floor to ourselves and used the couches as our little personal living room, with a still standing Jenga tower on the table. 

“Whose turn is it ?” “Vernon, I'm pretty sure”. 

Vernon slid down from the couch to sit on the floor in front of the Jenga tower, and focused. 

“He’s gonna lose, I just know it”, said Seungkwan, in an unsuccessful attempt to break his focus, since Vernon managed to get a piece out and put in on top of the tower, to the cheers of the other boys. “My turn~”. Mingyu sat down and took a deep breath, testing to see if some of the pieces would move, but none would budge. The boys laughed as the tower swayed and almost toppled over, to eventually fall in a loud “crash”. More laughter emerged and someone decided the loser should get a dare. 

“Oooo let’s just play truth or dare instead but have Mingyu start” said DK. Everyone agreed and we made Mingyu take a shot of hot sauce, giggling like kids as he rushed to get himself a glass of water afterwards. 

“Hoshi, truth or dare ?”. 

Hoshi pretended to think for a moment: “Dare” 

“hmm…. go knock on a random person’s door” said Mingyu “Whaaat that’s so mean! It’s like 11pm!” “Fine, then you have to let us pour a glass of milk over you and not clean it up till you go back to the dorm” Hoshi didn’t have the time to think about it, because one of the boys had already snuck up behind him and poured half a glass of milk on top of his head. As Hoshi chased the boy around, someone asked you: “(y/n), truth or dare ?” “Truth !” 

Everyone looked at you, waiting for the question. “Who’s your favourite person in the room ?” “Hey that’s not a fair question: I don't have a favourite. Dino, truth or dare ?” As all the boys turned towards Dino, awaiting his answer, you felt someone's eyes linger on you for a second.

“um… truth” “What was the most embarrassing moment of your life?”

=================

Once 1am hit, most boys had already gone back to their rooms, and you were about to do the same when someone called your name from across the hallway, asking if you wanted to go to the convenience store with them. 

You turned around to see that it was Jihoon. “Aren’t the front doors supposed to be locked ?” “I have a spare key…”, he explained. You had no reason for saying no: you weren’t even tired, so you followed him out. As soon as you take a step outside, though, you realised that it was freezing. “I should’ve gotten a hoodie,” you said, rubbing your arms in an attempt to warm up, laughing at yourself. Luckily, the walk to the 7eleven is short, and soon you were back inside, holding a bag of instant noodles, and headed to the kitchen. You sat on the countertop, feet dangling above the side of it, as the two of you waited for the water to boil.

“I think I got an idea for another song but I don’t know if it’s good or not..” he spoke, softly.

You looked up at Jihoon as he poured the steaming water into the bowls.

“Well, write it anyways… thinking it might not be good enough doesn’t have to be a reason for you not to write it.” He hummed in agreement, picking both bowls up as you jumped down from the counter, and as the both of you quietly crossed the hallway, you noticed he was walking past the lobby and it’s couches. “Pstt” you whisper. “Where are we headed ?”. He quickly glances back at you and you catch the smile on his lips as he answers: “My office. Someone really smart convinced me that I have a song to write”. You couldn’t help yourself from smiling at his comment, and followed him across Dance Practice Room #5, and into his office. 

You cupped your hands around the ramen, not having realised how cold your hands had been until they were warmed up by the hot bowl, and you sat down across from Jihoon, who by now was already scribbling down song lyrics onto paper.

As minutes passed, the two of you stayed quiet in this small office.  _ The rest of the world seems so far away. _

You whispered: “Hey, Jihoon ?” “Mhm ?” He looked up at you. “Did you know that the first French fries weren't cooked in France”. He tilted his head, in confusion. “What ?” “.... They were cooked in Greece” 

He took a second to stare at you. “.....Was that a dad joke ?” 

You tried not to laugh at your own joke, but still giggled “..yeah…”, and soon he began laughing too: “That was the WORST joke I’ve EVER heard-” “WhAT DO YOU MEAAAN- You’re laughing right now !!” You both kept laughing, to the point where you got teary eyed. “That was so stupid-” “No iT WASN’T !” “IT DEFINITELY WAS-”

Once you’d finished laughing, he took a deep breath to calm down, although he was still smiling like a dork, and looked down at his lyrics, staying silent for a bit.

“You shouldn't have told me to write the lyrics down.”

“Why ?”

He looked right back at you again, and giggled: “Because they suck…”

=====================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,652.


	6. Makeshift Office-

It’s now a week after your late night shenanigans.

You don’t pause the music or stop dancing as you hear your dorm room door open, but you do take a quick glance behind you, to see Jihoon walking in with two bowls of tteokbokki , closing the door with his foot. 

“ How’s the choreography going ?”, he asks, setting one of the bowls down on your desk before sitting comfortably on your bed, his laptop on his legs and the bowl of food at his side. 

“I’m still stuck at the same part”, you complained , rewinding the song to play it from the beginning again. 

Jihoon hummed as a response, typing into his computer, before adding: “good luck”. As he typed, you tried to count the measures between each dance move, but today you found it particularly difficult to do so. “Ughh I can’t get it right”. Jihoon didn’t look up from his computer, but you knew he was listening to you, so you played the song one more time and tried again. As the lyrics faded away and you froze in place for a second, waiting for the song to properly end, Jihoon lowered his screen to have a better look at you. “See, you did it well this time.”

You smiled, and enthusiastically grabbed the bowl of tteokbokki, chiming: “If Jihoon says I did well, then I deserve a treat~”. He smiled without looking at you, and instead, reopened his laptop screen to begin typing again as you ate sitting on your desk table. 

“Thank you for letting me use your room for the time being, by the way.”

“Oh- you don’t have to be so formal, don’t apologize… and-right..- how'd the door of your office break ?” 

He chucked and spoke all while typing, eyes still fixed on his screen: “So, Seungkwan came in, put his hand on the handle, and just as he let go, the handle fell to the floor. And so now they’re fixing it, and Seungkwan is willing to argue with anyone who says he broke it”. The both of you couldn’t help but laugh, at the thought of Seungkwan swearing to everyone that it wasn’t in fact his fault, although the broken handle was on the floor right in front of him.

In between your laughter, you looked up at the boy sitting in your bed, with his kind of messy hair and all, the sunlight hitting him just right. You thought about his smile. You knew he was cute: all the Seventeen boys were cute, but then again, it felt as if you hadn’t really noticed it until recently. 

Your train of thought was interrupted, though, by a stray Wonwoo who walked into your room without taking the leisure of knocking, to ask the both of you if you’d seen his jacket, to which we answered that we’d seen a black jacket in the kitchen, and that it could maybe be his.

As Wonwoo walked back out, you joked: “My room is barely even my room anymore, huh? ”, and to that comment Jihoon laughed.

_ And his laugh…. he has such a cute laugh… _

======================

A week later, on monday morning, You walked out of your dorm to find Mingyu waiting for you, as promised. 

“Ready for practice ?” he asked, lifting his water bottle to wave at you as if he wasn’t the only other person in the hallway and the tallest in the group, so it would’ve been literally impossible for you to not notice him standing there. “As per usual”, you answered with a grin on your face. But right as you 're about to begin walking, you noticed Vernon coming out of his room and stopped in your tracks and blur out to Mingyu “Oh shoot- I have to go get something real quick-”, before rushing back to your room and throwing pillows, books and clothes all over the place.

“Where did I put them-” you whisper, skimming through your drawers, before finally finding what you were looking for, grabbing it at the speed of light and rushing out the door. Luckily Vernon and Mingyu were talking to each other so it wasn’t hard to find them. You held your hand out and dropped the thing into vernon’s hand: a pair of white earphones. “Thank you so much for lending them to me !” Vernon stared at them for a second, clearly having forgotten that you’d ever taken them from him, before tucking them into his pocket. “You’ve been using Vernon’s earphones ? Why not just buy your own ?” Mingyu asked as the three of you headed down the stairs. “I know, I know, I just haven’t had the time to go to the mall yet…”.

Vernon opened the door to the dance practice room and all of you walked in, chatting, and began your warm-ups.

You were still practicing the Landslide choreography ,but even if you had all perfected it and the dance had become muscle memory at this point, you had to practice non the less, since you were supposed to film the dance video for it soon.

Once we were all done with practice, though, Mingyu and Vernon agreed that you go grab something to eat together outside, and so you soon found yourself seated in the outdoor section of a restaurant, with the two of them, laughing at the stupid stories they shared. After a while, Joshua had come to join you guys, explaining that he’d come late since he had grabbed coffee with S.Coups beforehand, and fair enough, he was holding his still-cold frappuccino in his hand.

“Why didn’t S.Coups come with you ?” you asked, as Mingyu stole the frappuccino to take a quick sip. “Ah- he already ate beforehand, and they want him to film a live in like 30min so he had to go back..”. Mingyu put the coffee down and teased: “Sounds a bit like you just made up an excuse to show up here late with a fresh frappuccino in your hands” “Says the guy stealing a sip from  _ my frappuccino _ ”, Joshua answered, slapping Mingyu’s hand off the cup, as you and Vernon chuckled. “They’re literal children”, Vernon said, and Joshua retaliated: “You’re one to talk ?”, and the whole table laughed.

======================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,047.


	7. Ice Skates-

The very next day, as if it were a coincidence, Vernon asked something in the group chat:

_______________________

VN: Hey I’m busy all day but if one of you guys

could get me a pair of the black, high Dior

Obliques from the mall, you’d be a lifesaver.

SK: Why do you want them they look really bad

T8: I’m busy today, sorry...

VN: Don’t ask questions. Says the guy who

wears the same navy cap all the time...

WZ: I’ll go get them now if you want

(Y/N): Can I come? I need headphones..

VN: Thank you guys

DK: Can you get me chips on your way back?

__________________________

So now you found yourself heading down the stairs in a hurry so as to not make Jihoon wait, since you were supposed to meet outside the front doors. He waved and smiled his usual awkward smile as he saw you coming, and you explained that you’d never been to the mall, so you had no idea which way to go.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not far so we can go walking.”, he reassured you. 

The walk kind of reminded you of the very first day you’d met him, and the very first time you’d seen the Pledis building. It felt like it’s been so long since then. _The only difference is that today isn’t as cold._ You could finally start walking around without a jacket, as spring settled in, and the music video for Landslide was actually going to be filmed in a forest, to fit with the spring theme. 

You caught yourself quickly glancing at Jihoon every once and a while, as he stayed silent, leading you to the mall, which was a LOT bigger from the inside than you’d expected it to be. You turned to him, excitedly, once the two of you walked in: “How have I never heard of this mall before ?”. You noticed that from where you were standing, his eyes sparkled, because the multiple fairy light decorations that were hanging from the high ceiling. He watched you go from one shop window to the next, admiring all the pretty outfits on mannequins and all the cutesy decorations. You stopped at the door of one of the shops and looked back at Jihoon before heading inside. “Hey, (y/n), this isn't Dior-” “Shhh, they’re selling X-Men merchandise, come have a look !”.

As he walked behind you through the clothe isles, you passed your hand through all the soft fabrics, looking for the shirt you’d spotted from outside the shop, Harry Styles blasting through the store speakers. 

You finally stopped and grabbed a Daredevil shirt, opening it in front of Jihoon to check if it’d suit him, and grinned. “It looks nice.. if they have any Storm shirts i might get one”. “Don’t, we won’t be allowed to wear them out, anyways”. You tilted your head in disappointment, as you looked at the shirt and added, softly: “Yeah but you can sleep in it...”. To your surprise, that seemed to have been enough to convince him, and you found yourself waiting in line with two shirts in your arms.

As much as Jihoon insisted to pay, you didn’t let him, and once you were out of the store, you took a deep breath- _The air was so stuffy in there.. i hadn’t realised…_.- and handed Woozi the bag with his shirt, saying that it was fair that you bought it for him, since you’d let him buy you something sweet later. And on that note, the both of you made your way towards Dior.

=================

You walked around the food court, peeking into the Dior bag to look at the shoes you’d just bought. “Um...How much did we pay for them again ?”. Jihoon sighed. “around 1,215,000 ₩” “...right…”. It felt awkward holding something so expensive, and you worried about bumping the bag into anything- so much so that you hadn’t noticed that the both of you had stopped walking.

“Want to eat something?” 

You looked up at the stand he was pointing at, moving to the side so as to not block people from passing. “Crepes again ?”. He looked surprised at your comment, and stuttered, in an attempt to defend himself “I- I thought you liked them ?” “I do- don’t worry! I’d love to have a crepe-”. 

He hesitated- “Are you sure ?” “Positive.”

And you found yourself holding both a Dior bag and a whipped-cream-filled strawberry crepe paid for by Woozi himself. He watched as you took a bite. “Is it good ?”, he asked, smiling.

“Try it for yourself, silly..”, you answered, bringing the crepe up to his mouth. He looked at you then at the crepe, uncomfortable, before taking a bite, and his eyes lit up. “Woah it’s really good !” “See? I know, right ?” you giggled. _You sir have zero right to be this cute, and yet here you are..._

The two of you continued walking towards the exit, ready to head home, and you took a last look around at the inside of the mall, reading all the shop names on the upper floors, seeing if any of them piqued your interest, and as you walked, you saw something that made you freeze in place and gasp. “They have an ice skating rink ?” 

“Ah-” Jihoon looked at the rink, then at you- “yeah, they also have a cinema here…”. Your eyes stayed fixed on the people gracefully sliding across the ice, and you half-whispered: “I’ve never ice skated before..” There was a pause, before Jihoon spoke: “Well… um.. would you like to try ?” 

“What- Oh ! No, it’s fine... -you blushed, bringing your hands to your face- That’s not what i meant, and we’re probably late and-” “It’s okay, you can try it if you want.” He seemed genuine, and you hesitated. “...really ?” “I’ll pay.”. Without letting you place in another word, he brought you to the counter, got two tickets and two pairs of skates, handing one to you. “Do you think you can put them on on your own ?” “I think so...”

 _Oh my god are we actually doing this ?_

You managed to put the skates on, and you headed onto the ice. Jihoon went in first, turning around to face you and reached his hand out for you in case you wanted to grab it. You didn’t think you’d need to, but as soon as both your feet were on the ice, all balance you thought you had suddenly disappeared, and you fell forwards, letting Jihoon catch you. You couldn’t tell whether he was red from the cold or from the fact that you’d just fallen onto him, but he reassured you as he helped you get steady again: “Careful- it’s alright, you’ll get used to it quick enough, you’re a fast learner” You giggled nervously. “I hope.. it’s just, it’s a lot slippier than I thought it was..”.

And of course, just as you spoke those words, you lost your balance again, squealing and causing the both of you to fall to the ground, laughing in unison. “I’m so sorry-”, you tried to explain, in between your laughter.

“It’s fine…”, he said, with the widest smile you’d ever seen on him, “i haven’t had this much fun in a while.”

===================

“I was actually pretty good towards the end, right ?” 

“When you almost fell on top of that kid-” “StOp- we don’t talk about that !!!”

He smiled as you playfully pushed him away from you, before asking: “Whose turn was it to ask a question ?” “Your turn”. He thought about it for a second, and asked:

“If you could perform with any artist, which one would you pick ?” “Stray Kids, easy pick. How about you ?” “....Harry Styles” “Oooh someone has taste…”

You looked around, searching for inspiration, looking up at the now pink sky, letting the breeze hit you. “My turn... If you could be anywhere, where would you be ?” 

=======================

  
  
  
  
  


======================

The following week, we were told we all had to record our parts for Landslide, and would all be called one by one into the recording studio during the day, meaning you weren’t allowed to leave the building until you finished recording, in case they called for you.

You decided you should use this time to practice, and headed straight for Dance Room #5, which to your luck was empty. Your hand touched the wall, trying to find the light switch, and you squinted as white light filled the room, a low electrical buzzing sound accompanying the lights.

You sighed as you closed the door behind you and set your bag down, and sat on the floor next to it, searching up song ideas on your phone, since you hadn’t decided what song you wanted to practice next. _I’m kind of lazy to practice anyways…_ That’s when a familiar name happened to reach your feed: “Realman Show Interview with (y/n) from seventeen”. Without thinking, you clicked on it, and the ever so familiar show’s theme song began to play. _Woah, it has more views than I’d expected…._

You watched the video, and thought about how cool you all looked, remembering the conversation more and more as you kept on watching:

_“No, seriously, one of the guys must have their eye on you, or at least you must have your eye on one of them ! Look at them, they’re all so handsome, don’t you agree ?”_

_“They are all cute, but sadly, no…”_

_“Awwww! It’s alright, you don’t have to tell us just yet!”_

You laughed. “What a good liar you make…” you whispered to yourself, ironically.

That’s when you noticed the like to dislike ratio on the video, and your heart sunk. You never watched videos of yourself or the group because it felt weird doing so, and staring at you was a video about you with a near fifty/fifty like to dislike ratio. 

_What the?_

You scrolled down to the comments and your eye sped through them as tears began to blur your vision. “ _She’s trying so hard to fit in, it’s kind of pathetic….” “who’s gonna tell her ?” “She's okay but i swear if she causes them to disband I’m ruining her life” “She’s the worst thing to ever happen to them… I kinda miss the old Seventeen..”_

You could feel your cheeks heat up and your throat ache, and at this point you couldn’t stop yourself from crying. Whatever sound you tried making wouldn’t come out of your mouth, your entire chest felt as if it were on fire. _MAKE IT STOP please i hate this i hate this ihatethis so much. I should've know-_ . You wiped the tears with your sleeve but they just kept on coming. _It hurts so much It hurts-_ You felt so pathetic, but the tears and hiccups that came with just wouldn't stop, the choking feelings staying ever so present. At this point you screamed, in pain and frustration and just to let it out. It felt like you’d been sitting here for an eternity. _GOD WHY me-make it stop-_ You heard the door open, but it felt as if the sound came from tens of meters away, and kept on wiping your tears, your chest tight and throat burning. “ (y/n) are you okay-”. 

You didn’t even look up, recognising Jihoon from his voice. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THEY HATE ME ?”. It hurt so much to even speak, and you could hear the hurt in your voice, as you pushed your phone away from you and kept wiping your sleeve to your eyes in unsuccessful attempts to stop the crying. For a second you felt bad for putting him through this, but in all honesty, at the very moment, you didn’t care. “YOU KNEW. YOU MUST’VE KNOWN”. 

He had crouched down in front of you, hesitant, clearly not knowing what to do or say.

“They warm up to you more and more by the day… a lot of people really like you, (y/n)…”

“OH REALLY ? LIAR.”. You didn’t mean it, though. You just looked at him and hiccoughed, your tears calming down a little, as he sat down in front of you, and opened his water bottle for you. 

“Drink”. You drank. And slowly, you started to calm down. He patiently waited, as you sat back up to lean against the wall, and stopped crying, before asking you what happened. You showed him the video, and then the comments. He stayed silent, even after you’d finished talking, and just whispered, ashamed and not daring to look at you “I'm sorry. I should've told you. I just knew they’d warm up to you eventually and we didn’t want to worry you with it.”

You were so hurt. Your chest still felt tight. “You guys should’ve told me…” “...I know. I’m sorry.” 

The both of you sat there in silence for a while, not knowing what to say. 

“I- um.. I came to tell you they wanted you to do your part of the recording, but now that I think about it I think I’ll ask to go first..”, he tried to smile, and you chuckled, letting him help you stand up. “I’d appreciate that….”

===========================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,232.


	8. Falling In Spring-

That night, you couldn’t fall asleep. As you layed in bed, eyes wide open and staring at the blank wall, you thought about the video again. You were expecting this to happen, but deep down you’d hoped it didn’t and that all went well.  _ With time they’ll get used to me… hopefully tomorrow’s music video will help…. _

Still not being able to fall asleep, you got up and opened the window, resting on it as you looked outside at the night sky. You could barely see any stars, because of all the light pollution and the building across covering a nice chunk of said sky, but at least the moon was still visible. You hummed along to a song stuck in your head, arms crossed on the windowsill, and stood for a while, breathing in the fresh air, trying not to think too much as to not start crying again. 

_ I should go to bed. It’ll all be better in the morning. _

You sat on the bed, and decided to leave the window open, judging that it was too hot in your room. When it’s only lit up by the moonlight, and it’s as quiet as it is right now, the room felt just as empty as the first day you’d been here, when you stuff hadn't arrived. You sighed. 

_ It’ll all be better in the morning. _

And on that note, you pulled the cover over you and forced yourself asleep.

  
  


================

You soon found yourself in the bus that was driving all fourteen of you to the location of the Landslide music video: an abandoned building in the middle of a forest. It had already been 40min since you guys had hit the road, and the boys in the back were frankly as loud as middle schoolers, which you wouldn’t have minded if it weren't for the headache you were getting. You could see the landscape speed by the bus from outside the window, sunlight hitting you in the eyes every once and a while when no trees were there to block you from it, making you squint. You leaned to your right, to hear what Jihoon was telling you, since all the talking and engine noises did nothing but drown his voice out completely:

“....and so you will have to choose between the hip hop and vocal units but since you like to write and can do it well, I was hoping you’d join the vocal team...”

You nodded, trying your best to make out what he was saying and he went on explaining. While he spoke, you wondered if you’d ever seen him this enthusiastic, and you got your answer later on, as you saw him get down from the bus smiling like a thousand suns, eyes sparkling, admiring the abandoned building. To you it looked more like a mansion than a house, with its two three-story wings and detailing on the facade. At the very top and centre was an ornate stained glass rosette, still brightly coloured in comparison to the faded out colours of the rest of the building. 

“It used to be a mansion, right ?” one of the boys asked.

“A Hotel” answered the producer, only accentuating everyone’s awe, and you caught Jihoon saying something under his breath: “It’s just how I'd imagined it to be...” 

The filming crew began setting lights up in front of the remnants of the building for the final shot, but the boys wanted to explore the hotel. You walked over to the main entrance, tilting your head back, looking up as you walked under the arch that used to be the front doorway, but one of the wooden panels that had once been a door was laying on the floor, dusty, under leaves and other rubble. You hopped around it, not wanting to get your shoes dirty and looked around: Plants had claimed the lobby as their own, peeking through red carpet and floorboards, and you could still see keys hanging on the wall behind the reception. It was as if they'd been a breach in time, or as if some apocalyptic disaster had struck: everything was still there, but worn down and covered in a thick layer of dust. 

You flinched as Hoshi walked over a creaking floorboard: it really felt like a haunted hotel. 

Some of the boys had already begun climbing the grand staircase and you winced at the thought of going upstairs:  _ Even the stairway looks like it’s going to collapse… I guess it really is fitting with the name of the song, huh ? _

You decided to explore the ground floor first, and wandered around the cold and deserted game rooms, examining the pool tables and baby-foot games that were just waiting to be used, you walked around the bar, slowly reading the labels of the multi-coloured alcohol bottles that were still on the top shelf, although covered in cobwebs, and you shivered as your hand grazed one of the ice-cold leather couches on your way out of the room, leaving a little dust mark on your forearm that you swiftly wiped away.

“Anything interesting in there ?” asked DK as he saw you walking back into the lobby, ready to go upstairs. “Nothing interesting.. unless you want to play a game of baby-foot with a ghost”. He chuckled and wandered into the opposite wing, as you steadily climbed the grand stairway.  _ It would’ve been a pretty hotel if it weren’t for all the dust and insects- _ Just the thought of there being critters crawling around made you shiver again, but luckily you’d made it to the first floor and your mind quickly got occupied with the thought of there being a lot more exploring to do.

You ran into Mingyu, Hoshi and Vernon who gladly accepted you into their little explorer group and they showed you around the old café with it’s huge glass pane windows that went from floor to ceiling -although broken in some corners- , mimicking a luxurious greenhouse, with its golden ornaments all around the room, marble floors and numerous potted plants in every corner, as well as hanging from the ceiling. Stray golden rays of sunshine had found their way through the window panes and danced around the room, making the specs of dust in the air visible when it hit them, explaining why this room was warmer than the rest. “Pretty, huh ?” said Mingyu, proudly, as he showed off the room he’d discovered as if he was the new owner of the place. “Very !”. You wished you’d had more time to explore but everyone was called to start filing the music video, and the three of you had to half-heartedly leave the rest of the ghost hunting for later and go up to the second floor where the shooting would begin.

=========

They’d previously already explained the theme for the music video to you all, and gave you a general idea of the shots they wanted, so they didn’t have to repeat themselves when the time came.

Since you were going to play the girl that the lyrics were talking about, they began by filming you walking down one of the abandoned hallways, and had you peek into thirteen of the rooms, each with one of the boys inside of them. You acted lost, and slowly made your way towards the first door, Landslide playing through a speaker so that you knew approximately what part of the song was supposed to play in the background. The first room was Vernon’s, and he was sitting on a chair and got up when you walked in, reaching out to you and lip-syncing to the lyrics, and you quickly walked out since you got your queue to move on to the next room.

This continued, moving from room to room. Mingyu’s room was renaissance-themed, and he acted all loverboy-like, holding his hand out and spinning you as you grabbed it, The8 had mirrors in his room which made the sunlight bounce around, Jun’s room happened to be the hotel’s small library and you couldn’t help but think about how cool the shots were going to look for each room. 

The last room happened to be Woozi’s, and you tried guessing what the room would be like before you walked in, but to your surprise, it was completely empty and ruined, and the back wall wasn’t there: you had a huge rectangular hole at its place, as if it had simply been cut out, and the only thing inside the room were thin, flowing, white curtains that draped down in front of the non-existent back wall, pretending as if it were just a big window with a view on the woods.

Woozi walked towards you, with an amount of confidence that you'd rarely seen in him. He reached out and took your hand, and as he bowed down and kissed it, he smiled and lip-synced to the lyrics you’d almost forgotten existed:  _ “I didn’t know falling was an option, but I guess I’m stuck in a landslide”. _

There was a second in which the world had stopped spinning and the universe had stopped expanding and your heart had stopped beating and the floor didn’t exist anymore and- 

“Cut ! That was perfect, all we need now is the shots of you guys in front of the hotel…”

You threw a glance at Woozi, who seemed just as startled as you were, and let go of your hand, cheeks flushing pink. 

_ Was that planned ? Was that part of what was scripted ?  _ They hadn’t told you what’d happen in each room because the element of surprise was essential to good acting- but still, your mind raced while you walked out of the room.  _ What was that about- _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1574.


	9. Aurora-

The ride back was just as noisy as the ride to the hotel, as all the boys were excitedly describing what their room looked like to each other. Sitting next to you was Joshua- if you could call it sitting, since he wasn't even facing the front of the bus but rather talking to Jeonghan who was two rows behind you. “Jesus you boys are loud..” you commented, to which Joshua smirked and responded “Easy for you to say: you already know what each room looked like…” “You’re not wrong...”, you answered, defeated, before looking out the window to watch the forest landscape slowly turn into buildings.

====================================

Being so occupied with practice, meetings, Going Seventeen videos and that one radio interview you had, you barely noticed the weeks pass until the day of the ever-so awaited music video finally arrived. You’d spent the entire morning worrying over this video, and stalling time so that you wouldn’t have to watch it-  _ Or rather, so that i wouldn’t have to read the comments _ \- and found yourself aimlessly wandering around the halls you saw were empty in the aim to avoid the sea of “have you watched the music video yet ?” questions. 

But that afternoon, when you were alone and in your dorm, it felt like you’d been rescheduling the inevitable for too long. You grabbed your laptop, ignoring the bad feeling you had in your gut, and sat cross-legged on your bed, carefully typing the song title into the search bar, and stared at the thumbnail.  _ Well, I’ll have to watch it eventually, won't I ? _

You clicked on it and the familiar lyrics began seeping through your laptop speakers. You hadn’t even dared putting it in full screen, just wanting to get it over with, but eventually found yourself entranced by the video.  _ Woahhh it looks so good-  _ You saw Vernon reaching out at you, Mingyu spinning you around, Jun in the library and at last, you saw yourself walking into Woozi’s room. The scene played in your head all over again, as you watched him walk over to you, grab your hand to kiss it before singing his part of the song, and it cut to a shot of the boys in front of the hotel. 

All had been well up until this point, but it was now time for the worst bit. You’d already glanced at the like to dislike ratio, and it was the usual amount for a Seventeen music video, but that wasn’t the reason for your concern. In a last-ditch effort to waste even the slightest bit of time, you took a deep breath in and braced yourself, before scrolling down to the comments. 

Your eyes sped through them one by one, trying to read as many as you could although you knew it’d be impossible for you to read them all: “ _ AAAA This is so good !!” “Seventeen being perfect as usual..” “When Mingyu spinned (y/n) around omg…” “I actually kinda like her <3” “you guys are seriously sleeping on Wonwoo and S.Coups” “Woozi in the end- my heart!!!” “idk why she gets so much hate tbh :///” …. _

A wave of relief crashed over you and you brought your hand to your mouth, trying to not get too teary-eyed but knowing any attempt at stopping the tears from coming was futile. The music video began playing again as you sobbed a month and a half worth of worry and anxiety away, alone in your studio-sized dorm- Or at least, you were alone until someone walked into your studio-sized dorm looking down at their three pages filled with scribbled down lyrics and began talking to you without even noticing how much of a mess you looked like right now.

You still hadn’t chosen whether you wanted to join the vocal unit or the hiphop unit but Woozi had subconsciously made it a habit to come to ask you for your opinion on the songs he was working on anyways, and you didn’t mind it in the slightest. He kept looking down at his notes, one hand still on the door handle “...and so i was thinking of changing Jeonghan’s part because-”

He’d finally looked up at you to find you on your bed with tears streaming down your cheeks and paused. “...I’m so sorry- I- .. um-”. You saw him hesitate between closing the door behind him and leaving the room altogether, and as he fumbled with his words, you reassured him: “Oh! no- these are happy tears- I’m.. I’m alright don’t worry-”. 

He brought both his hands to his face, before sliding them through his hair as he sighed in relief and closed the door behind him. He spoke ever so gently, weighing the words that left his mouth: “Thank god… I hated seeing you cry last time”. 

You wiped the tears off with the sleeve of your hoodie and chuckled. “I promise I’m okay… so, what were you saying about Jeonghan’s part ?” 

===========

He’d spent the next half hour explaining that he was trying to write that one song he’d thought about the night you all played truth or dare together, but that he wasn’t able to fit the lyrics with the idea he wanted to convey. 

“Well… what idea do you want to convey ?”

“Well, you see, if I knew how to put it into words then it wouldn’t be so hard to put them into song..” he commented, throwing a quick glance at you before looking back down at the pages on your desk that Jihoon had now claimed as his office for the day, even borrowing your computer.

“Was that sarcasm, Mr.Perfect ?”, you questioned, raising a brow. He laughed and you rolled your eyes. “Well I can’t help you if you can’t give me a vague idea.” 

His hand tapped on your table, as he sat there pensively, fully focused on the song, and you went back to sitting on your bed and scrolling through your phone. This went on for half an hour or so, and the both of you just silently enjoyed each other’s presence. Every now and then Jihoon would write something down before staring at it for twenty seconds and erasing it in a sigh, to your amusement. He pointed out that his writer's block should not be something someone finds funny, but you chuckled and explained that you’d never seen him struggle at writing a song so much. As soon as you finished your sentence though, Jihoon’s phone rang, and he picked up, but you couldn’t hear what the other person on the line was saying.

“Hey, Hoshi…… No… I don't know where Mingyu is, can’t you just call him to tell him he has a live in twenty minutes ?....No……. Right now? I’m in (y/n)’s room, why ?.....” 

This time, though, you heard Hoshi loud and clear half-yelling “WHAT ??” into the phone, before swearing that he was coming over right this instant, ignoring Jihoon’s implorations.

To nobody’s surprise, two minutes later, you had to open the door for Hoshi and his 7Eleven plastic bag filled with chips, followed by Dino and Joshua. 

“Sorry to barge in, we just have to make sure Jihoon isn’t annoying you!”  Hoshi said cheekily, walking into the room as you gasped ever so dramatically, walked over to Jihoon and slid your arms down his shoulders to slightly hug him from the back and exclaimed “Jihoon ? Annoying me ? He would never!”, before sticking your tongue out at the boys who’d now claimed your bed as their base. 

Woozi flinched but kept on writing his son lyrics, a smile on his face while Dino began speaking about the music video, and the rest of the guys pitched in with comments and opinions. Joshua turned to you and expressed that he was glad that the carats liked you, which made you cry of joy on the inside. 

“Oh ! And S.Coups said we have a live performance in three weeks, so someone will have to tell Mingyu when he’s done with his live…”

You tilted your head. “A concert ?” 

“Yeah ! Our first live performance with you, so try not to get too nervous !”

You pretended to pout, and acted all hurt: “ I can’t help it if I get nervous.. you guys will just have to deal with me being dramatic.” “We’ll see, depending how much you pay us to deal with your shenanigans..” The boys laughed and you gasped, still staying in character. “Take that back !” “Nope~”. There was more giggling, and this time you couldn’t help but drop the act to laugh along with them. 

You looked back up at your groupmates laughing and sitting peacefully on your dorm bed, with open chip packets all around them and pillows that had been pushed onto the floor, sunlight peeking through the thin curtains that we’re practically useless and danced at the slightest gust of wind.  _ My first live performance with Seventeen… _

  
  


The four of you kept on talking until dusk, Jihoon turning away from the desk to pitch in or laugh along with us every once and awhile, and soon the boys got hungry and felt as if it was late enough and time for them to leave. As they got up, you told them another dad joke, to which Joshua retorted -although he was laughing- that your joke wasn’t funny.

“Jihoon thinks otherwise”, you blurred out between chuckles and you turned to see him at your desk, facing away from you but still holding in his laughter, “See ?”.

As you closed the door behind Hoshi, Joshua and Dino, you spoke to Woozi who was still erasing pencilled down notes. “I know it’s not an off day but you should take a break every now and then, you know ?”. He nodded as he looked up at you, and got up from your desk chair. “Well, if I can’t write, want to go practice ?”

  
  


Not having done much all day, you couldn’t say no to a little practice, and you found yourself in the dance room with Jihoon who’d changed into a dance shirt topped with a black jacket and a pair of joggings.

“Okay so if we’re practicing Don’t Wanna Cry you have to choose who’s part you want to learn…”

You shrugged your shoulders: “I can just learn yours, it’ll be easier for us…”

“Alright then… it starts off like this-” You watched him dance the first part of the choreography, trying to memorize the moves, and when he did it a second time, you tried copying his movements, as he guided you with his voice. “Too slow on the spin- and your arm should be more towards the right-” 

He examined you and walked over to move your arm a little. “Perfect.. see this is how it should feel…” You nodded and tried again from the top as he watched, and he smiled in encouragement. “That was better !”

You smiled, bringing a hand to your cheek to feel how warm it was, panting.  _ What time is it ? Like.. eight ? _ You glanced over at the clock that hung over the mirrored wall, and realised you were 30min off.  _ 8:30 already ? Jesus, time passes by fast…  _

But your water break only lasted a couple minutes and you were soon back at work, steadily learning more and more of the choreography until you’d managed to dance it in its entirety. The two of you walked back to Jihoon’s dorm, and spoke while he unlocked the door. “I still have to practice all week if I want to actually know it..” “I think you did good. Don’t say that…”

He pushed the door open and you got to see his X-Men posters once again. He caught you staring at them and asked, closing the door behind you and taking his jacket off :“Watched the X-Men movies yet ?” 

“Not yet, sadly…” 

“Still haven’t watched  _ any  _ of them ?” 

“None….”

“You’re a horrible friend”, he joked. “I’ll have to force you to watch them…”

You laughed and sat on his bed, defending yourself: “I would’ve but I didn’t have the time~”

“Suureee…”. The both of you laughed and he sat on the far end of the bed, in front of you. You’d taken one of his pillows and held it close to you, just to have something soft to hold, and spent the rest of the evening talking about nonsense, forgetting that the sun had long set. Leaning against the corner in which the bed was pushed against began being too uncomfortable after two hours of talking, so after a while you were laying on your side, comfy pillow still held between your arms as you listened to an over-enthusiastic Woozi who was busy explaining the plot of the “Logan” movie to you.

He’d played a random YouTube song playlist in the background, so as your vision turned black, his voice and the song lyrics tangled together into nothingness.  _ It’s so warm… _ And that night, you dreamt for the first time in months: You were back into your childhood home, walking around the empty but sunlight-filled rooms. It switched to you in a church, with a colourful stained glass rosette at the very top of the main entrance, candles lit all around you, but as you looked up at the painting ceiling, it switched once again, into a night sky.  _ It’s so warm and safe… _

====================================

**WOOZI’S POV:**

_ She fell asleep again didn’t she…. _

I stared at her more than I probably should have, not knowing what to do.  _ Sleeping in her bed while she sleeps here is out of the question… maybe i can just sleep on the floor ? _

I walked over to her and tucked a lock of hair that had been sitting on her face behind her ear. I knew she couldn’t hear me, but out of precaution, and of fear of waking her up, I whispered. “First my office, now my room ? You really do have the nasty habit of sleeping in places that belong to me, don’t you ?” Sound asleep, she didn’t respond, and I awkwardly lifted her into my arms, opening the door with my foot. “Let’s get you home now…”. 

I tried my best not to man-handle her, and prayed that nobody was in the corridors so late at night. I hadn’t taken into account that I had to go up a flight of stairs with (y/n) in my arms but I didn't have a choice and went up slow and steady, trying my hardest not to wake her up. 

Out of breath, I whispered still. “Almost there… I should thank you in the morning for always keeping your door unlocked…”

As I stood in front of her dorm door, I looked down at her and felt my cheeks flush red. A voice spoke at the very back of my mind that I didn't even try to ignore anymore.  _ You like her ? You’re not allowed to like her… it’ll tear the group apart. She deserves better. You can’t even put these feelings into words….  _

_ Even if you like the way she makes you feel… Take the safe route... _

The words you’d spoken to Hoshi once came back to mind: “I’ve thought about it, and I don’t think it’s a good idea... if the media thinks you’re dating, it can tear the group apart”

_ Take the safe route… _

I put her down gently into her bed, closed her still-open window and walked out the room, but not without throwing one last glance at her. 

  
_ Goodnight…. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2608.


	10. Play Along-

You woke up to the sound of your alarm, and fumbled around the bed, trying to stop the loud beeping, still half asleep.  _ UGhhhh make it stoppp…  _

Your hand was searching the bed for the source of the noise, and you groaned into your pillow, finally giving in and sitting up in bed, to find the phone in your back pocket.  _ I’m wearing jeans ? _

You finally looked up and around your messy room, faintly lit by the morning sun, chip packets overflowing the small bin that stood under your desk. You noticed that you’d slept with your shoes on, fully dressed, and everything clicked into place. Your eyes widened as you brought your hands to your face, fully aware that you were blushing, and whispered in shock, trying to let it sink in: “...he carried me to my bed while i was asleep...”

You hoisted yourself out of bed, pushing the duvet aside and ran to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror.  _ Bed hair… and a blushing mess… _ Your hand brushed your pink cheeks and you whispered to yourself again. “Oh god…how am I ever going to look him in the eyes now...”

You stood there for a little while, in awe, realising that your heart was racing, your mind full of  _ Oh no things are going to be so awkward now _ thoughts, yet you tried to calm yourself down and softly spoke at your reflection. “You’re over exaggerating… Why are you getting so worked up? You’re friends, everything is fine… it’s just really sweet and kind of him to carry you to bed. That’s all.” 

A sigh left your body as your thoughts continued your pep-talk for you.  _ Yeah! He’s just cute and sweet and talented...Ah… _ In another sigh, you opened the tap and cupped your hands, letting them fill with cold water till they overflowed. You loved the feeling of water running down your arms, and for a second you wished you were in a swimming pool. You slowly brought both hands to your face and let the icy water drown your thoughts, rubbing your still wet hand on the back of your neck as you looked back up at yourself, trying to cool yourself down. 

_ Okay now, let’s get this day over with.  _

=========

As you jogged down the stairs, you caught Vernon coming upstairs, and he smiled at you to say hello. “Not taking the elevator ?”

You giggled and rolled your eyes “Very funny.. I wish there was one though: we have to walk three floors wherever we want to go to our dorms !” “Tell me about it… I’m jealous of those on the first floor…”. He paused and the both of you looked down at the door that led to the first floor hallway, silently envious, before he spoke again “Where are you headed ? Kitchen ?” You nodded and took a couple steps down “Yeah, i didn’t eat yet.” 

He hesitated and quickly looked up the stairs, before giving in and going back down the way he came. “Lemme go with you, i didn’t eat either…” You followed him enthusiastically, happy to have found someone to walk with, and he continued: “Did you learn the choreography to Call Call Call yet ?” “Ah, right… No, but i started learning the one for Don’t Wanna Cry yesterday, so I’ll probably go back to practicing it after breakfast” 

He nodded, still looking in front of him, and spoke with a seriousness that made you want to laugh, until you realised he was right: “Don’t each too much then” “Oh... I was hungry and wanted to feel full...” “I mean, you can ignore my advice if you want, I won’t blame you-” “Nah, you’re right”.

You pouted silently on the inside, disappointed that you weren't going to be able to have a filling breakfast like you'd been dreaming of all morning, and walked into the kitchen alongside Vernon.

======

Walking down the hallway to Dance Room #5, you took your sports bag off your shoulder before opening the door, saving yourself some time as you just threw it on the floor and touched around the chalky wall with your hand, trying to find the light switch. Eventually finding it, you flipped it up and embraced the low electrical hum that accompanied the bright white lights that slowly filled the room. 

You practiced Don’t Wanna Cry a couple of times but felt like it was leading to nowhere since you didn’t have anyone to guide you, and had to keep glancing back and forth at the video playing on the computer screen, then at yourself in the mirror, to verify that you were doing everything correctly. 

You tried a third time, barely progressing at all, and as the final note lingered in the air, you caught someone in the mirror, setting their bag down next to yours. You swiftly turned around, secretly thanking the universe that you were already red from practice, and therefore he couldn’t tell if you were blushing or not “Oh- Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in..”

Jihoon looked up at you awkwardly and asked, throwing glances around the room, visibly uncomfortable. “How did you sleep ?” 

You nodded, and after a couple seconds realised that wasn’t an appropriate response, and blurred out a “I slept good, thank you..”

An awkward silence filled the air, and you finally managed to clearly process that there was someone who could help you with the dance, standing right in front of you- “Would you mind helping me with the Don’t Wanna Cry choreography again ? You don’t have to of course-” “Sure, I’d love to” 

Not having to constantly verify that you were doing the moves correctly, you finally were able to relax and focus, feeling that you were doing a lot better. He stopped you a couple of times, though, to have you reposition yourself properly and made you do a few moves in slow-motion before picking up the pace again. 

“I don’t know why you ask me to help you, you’re basically perfect already...”, Jihoon remarked, “...you’re talented; I wouldn’t complain if you chose the hip-hop or performance unit-”

“Actually, she chose to pick the hip-hop unit” Mingyu said, strolling into the room and putting his arm around your shoulder. Jihoon looked surprised, and threw a glance at you “Oh ?”. You thought you saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes, but didn’t have the time to confirm whether that was the case, since you whispered to Mingyu: “What are you doing-” “Shh just play along-”

You refrained from elbowing Mingyu in the side, and stiffly stood in place, fake smiling at Jihoon. He blushed and took a step back, probably uncomfortable at how Mingyu and you were staring at him, waiting for his reaction. “Oh, well.. huh… good for the performance team”, he stammered, bringing a hand to the back of his neck.

Mingyu purposefully let there be a pause before smirking and giving in: “I'm teasing; of course she’ll pick the vocal team”

This time, you clearly saw the shift in Jihoon’s expression, now wide-eyes and a faint smile on his lips. “Really ?”. 

You giggled and answered, finally being able to nudge Mingyu off of you playfully. “Yeah, of course !”

Mingyu laughed along and winked at the both of you, “Anyways, I'm sorry to separate you two but (y/n) has a live in 20min and I was asked to tell her to hurry up.”

You let out a small gasp, having completely forgotten, and blurred out a “Bye!” to Woozi as you hastily grabbed your bag and ran out of the practice room.

===============

Being your first live, it went a lot better than you’d expected: firstly, it got a lot of viewers since Carats wanted to know more about you, and the small portion of the comments that were hateful were immediately followed by a flood of fans defending you. 

As soon as the live ended, you even felt a bit empty, and missed talking to the stream.  _ Maybe I can ask to do a little more lives, they shouldn’t have a reason to be against it, as long as it takes up my free time and not my work time… _

Speaking of free time, since the music video just came out a couple of days ago, you all were given the Sunday- tomorrow- off, but knowing Pledis, you winced at the thought of it probably being your only off day until you guys record another song, which wasn’t going to be for a while until one of you gets struck by a lightning of genius. 

_ Jihoon is already a genius… then we’ll need like… a double lightning strike of genius: twice as unlikely… _

Still, you knew you had no plans for tomorrow, and couldn’t help but feel disappointed that you were wasting an off day. The universe didn’t give you a lot of time to feel down, though, because you remembered the group had to film a going seventeen video again that afternoon, and that since shooting is starting so late it probably meant it would finish early morning.  _ Fun... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1526.


	11. Day Off-

Luckily for everyone, shooting had ended a little before midnight, and you were on your way back home earlier than expected. Although you were accustomed to sleeping late, you felt exhausted, yet still didn’t want to go to sleep. So, after unlocking the door to your room, you didn’t bother to turn on the lights and instead grabbed the hoodie that was thrown on your chair and headed back into the hallway. 

You’d glanced around the empty corridors, and by how quiet it was you assumed Vernon and the rest of the boys on your floor had gone to bed. Trying not to make any noise, you tip-toed to the door that led to the stairway and opened it as carefully as you could, flinching when it creaked ever so slightly.

Once in the safety of the stairway, knowing nobody could hear you, you climbed up. The building did have a fourth floor, but you didn’t stop there, climbing all the way to the top, until you were stopped by an awfully painted, rusty metal door. You took a second to hesitate, telling yourself that you should go back to your dorm, and that you’d come back when it’s morning; but you’d been too curious for too long and decided that you wanted to see the view from the rooftop today and not some other time. 

Your hand hesitantly grasped the handle, rusty and ice-cold, and you pushed down with more strength than you’d expected, causing the door to swing open and creak, hitting the wall next to it in a metallic bang.  _ I hope no one heard that _ , you thought as you hopped over the step that separated rooftop and stairway, closing the door gently behind you, but leaving it slightly open just in case it were to lock on its own. At times like these you felt like a little kid again, doing something you weren’t supposed to and getting little rushes of adrenaline, feeling as if you were doing something illegal even when you knew you technically couldn't get in trouble.

Although these past weeks the weather was getting warmer and warmer, you were grateful that you’d bought your hoodie as you made your way to the rooftop railing. The wind was sweeping strands of your hair in front of your face, so you didn’t stay on the edge of the rooftop for long, not to mention that the railing was so cold you judged it better to not be holding it at all. Still, you took a nice look at the view, letting it sink in. City lights scattered all across, varying from red, orange and white, that went on as far as your eyes could see. 

_ They kind of look like stars... _

You looked up, and even if some stars were visible, you knew that it’s be way more breath-taking if there wasn't so much light pollution.  _ What a shame… _

After standing around for a little bit, breathing in the crisp air, you judged that you’d wandered around for long enough and walked back towards the rusty metal door, and down the warm stairway.

=================

As soon as you woke up, you took your phone and rolled onto your stomach, holding on to your pillow as you rested your head on it, and read the texts in the group chat.

_______________________

SK : I’m just saying, it’s good they ended the 

shooting before midnight or else I was

gonna sue them for stealing my free time

DN : Dramatic 

VN : As always ?

DK : One of you boys left their gym bag in my

dorm and I’m betting that its Joshua

SK : How much are you betting-

HS : If it’s a food related bet I’m in-

JS : It’s not me

JH : It’s me, sorry !

DK : …. a h 

__________________________

You giggled and texted something to let them know that you were awake before sliding out of bed. Since it was an off day, you were determined to make the most out of today as you could, and quickly threw on an outfit and fixed your hair, heading out the door without bothering to lock it, as per usual. 

You practically ran down the stairs, and was about to walk out when Jihoon stopped you in the lobby. 

He jogged up to you, and you noticed he was wearing a white collared shirt, with rolled up sleeves, tucked into suit pants, which you found absurd since it was an off day, until it clicked that Woozi probably worked on off days anyways. “Let me guess, you had a meeting ?” “Ah- he looked down at his outfit and slid his hand through his hair to tidy it up a bit- yeah, but that’s not what I stopped you for.” 

He paused and you nodded, letting him continue: “Since it’s an off day, Mingyu, DK, Vernon and I are planning to eat out at a hotel tonight and we wanted to ask if you’d want to join us ?” 

“Of course I’d want to join- is that even a question ?” You answered, enthusiastic at the thought of going out for dinner with friends. 

“Perfect !” He took a step back and clasped his hands together, thinking for a second. “Ah right, we’re meeting up in the lobby tonight at seven; and try not to be too late since we have a reservation..”

“Sounds great ! See you tonight, then ?” “See you..”

He smiled before walking back into the main hallway, and you watched him leave for a second, before heading outside for good. 

  
  


_ ……ah….now what ?  _

Standing in front of the Pledis building had never made you feel so stupid, but right now you had no idea what to do or where to go. Still, you quoted something you must’ve heard in a movie, under your breath, taking a first step in a random direction: “In moments of doubt, just move forward.” 

On that note, you began strolling around the city. It had been a while since you’d had alone time outside and you usually never went anywhere further than the 7Eleven unless it was for work, so this felt a little like an adventure. You’d checked the map on your phone as you walked, and mentally planned what you’d do in the morning: all that didn’t involve spending horrendous amounts of money. 

The morning was finally getting a little warmer. Well- at least, it hasn’t been this warm out since you had joined Seventeen.  _ Soon it’ll be two months since I've joined the group… damn, time goes by fast… _

You looked up at the traffic light to make sure the little neon green man gave you permission to walk before crossing the street, hopping onto the sidewalk on the other side and taking a second to slow your pace down to admire two gorgeous motorcycles that were parked. Remembering that you weren’t in a rush, you took the leisure to window-shop on your way to your first destination. 

Naturally, your mind began to wander and you’d almost forgotten to turn at the corner you were supposed to, but you eventually made it to the little cosy restaurant. Looking up at the orange sign at the entrance, you read the shop’s familiar name. Jihoon and you had been ordering  Jjajangmyun  and Tteokbokki from here for the past month yet the two of you had never come to the shop in person. As you pushed the door open and a little bell chimed, you were hit by both the warm air and smell of Kimchi Stew at once- The place didn’t look like much but it certainly felt like home.

A girl behind the counter cheerfully greeted you, steam coming from the open door behind her that was giving you a little peek into the kitchen. For a second, you thought she looked familiar, until you realised she was the one who always delivered the food when you ordered from the dorms. You walked up to her and smiled, glancing upwards to quickly read the menu as the cashier patiently waited. Not wanting to waste her time, you made your mind up quickly:

“Hello, um... I’ll have a Spicy Ramyun please.” 

She answered in her talking-to-a-customer voice, but you could see that she was a generally enthusiastic person just by the way she was standing. “Of course! Can I get you anything to drink to go with that ?” “Um… just water, thank you…” “Alright we’ll have that ready in no time… will that be to eat in or take away ?” “Take away”

You thanked her, throwing a glance at her name tag before sitting at one of the tables.  _ Mae… cute name... _

==================

Not even twenty minutes later, you were making your way to a small park by the Han river, plastic bag with the warm Ramyun in one hand. Soon enough, you sat down on a wooden bench, taking off the lid of your spicy noodles and admired the view. How long had it been since you’d sat down near a body of water with nothing but your thoughts ? You snapped your chopsticks in two, listening to the quack symphony some ducks not too far from the river shore were making, and had a taste of your food.  _ I’ll have to force Woozi to taste the spicy noodles cause these are so good- _

==================

Making your way back towards the dorms, you were stuck with the sudden realisation that since you were spending the evening in a hotel, you probably had to dress up fancily for the occasion. This normally wouldn’t have been an issue, but now that you thought about it, you didn't have many things in your dorm closet to wear at fancy occasions… Whenever you had an interview, a show or whatnot, the outfits were always given to you by the designers…

So, as you walked into the now-familiar mall, you couldn't help but think:  _ Well, there goes my plan of not spending a lot of money today... _

The mall hadn’t changed, except for the ceiling decorations that they switched out once a month to keep things feeling fresh. You’d hoped you’d get this last-minute shopping spree over with quickly but after walking around the first floor, you didn’t find any clothing worthy of tonight’s occasion. 

You mentally sighed as you climbed onto the escalator leading up to the second floor, where all the luxury brand shops were. You recognised the Dior store in which you’d bought shoes for Vernon, and cringed at the thought of how much you guys had paid for a single pair of shoes that day. From up here, you could even see the ice rink, and just the thought of that made you smile. 

Not planning to buy anything from a luxury brand, you swiftly walked along the first floor, looking for any other normal clothing stores- but something inevitably caught your eye. 

_ Dammit… Why did I have to look at the storefronts of expensive brands when I know I can't afford them ? _

There it was, through the window in which the word “Burberry” was inscribed, the cutest little black dress you’d ever seen. Short enough to be cute, the perfect silhouette- it was staring right at you, and deep down you knew that if you walked away from the shop, you’d wind up coming back later.  _ Why do I have to be like this ? _ Already defeated, you walked into the store and picked out the dress in your size, mentally choosing what shoes you’d be wearing with it tonight while you walked into the changing room. The dress looked heavenly, and you looked heavenly in it, or at least you would if you’d fixed up your hair a little, but all in all, you could practically hear Mingyu and DK yelling at you to just buy it already.

Typing in your credit card pin, you thought about the cashier behind the Burberry counter. She must have her own little life and live in her own little apartment and maybe have a little dog, too. You found it hard to believe that everyone had their lives, and that everyone's world revolved around themselves.

You kept on pondering as you walked out the door, dress carefully folded into the blue Burberry bag in your hand. As you made your way down the escalator, your eyes followed the people gliding around the ice. You’d noticed that you longed to ice skate again, even if you’d sucked, and you secretly hoped that someday, you and the whole group could come here on an off day. 

_ Maybe in my dreams… or in a hundred years…. _

=======================

It was practically night time, since the sun had barely just set.

Once you’d showered and gotten ready, you finally got to have a look at yourself in the full outfit, and gave a little spin in the mirror, smiling at how the dress twirled with you. Satisfied with your appearance, you checked your phone, making sure you were on time, and headed out the door, holding your jacket in your arms as you slowly made your way down the stairs in heels. 

Walking down the hallway, you saw the four boys waiting in the lobby, talking to each other, all of them in fancy shirts and outfits. Seeing them waiting for you all dressed up made you nervous, and you fixed your hair some more as you walked, out of habit. 

Mingyu was the first to notice you walk into the lobby, and as he looked at you, shocked, Woozi, DK and Vernon turned around as well. You nervously made your way to them, and shyly said hi, but none of them said anything, scanning you from up to down, then back up again. You could see Jihoon staring at you, wide-eyed, until Mingyu finally spoke. “Y/n- WOW- I’m.. I’m speechless..”

Woozi then basically whispered, still not keeping his eyes off you: “You look like an angel….”

==============

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2312.


	12. Pyrotechnics-

_//TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter: Alcohol & Drinking //_

All the other boys agreed. You blushed, twirling to show them the dress and ask them how they liked it, giggling nervously at the compliments they threw at you as the five of you walked outside to wait for the car and chauffeur Vernon had booked for the occasion.

It would’ve been tricky to fit the five of you, plus the chauffeur, in a car, but luckily Vernon had ordered one spacious enough. Once everyone was seated, Mingyu commented on how it was our last day off until our next comeback… the boys sighed. “Don’t remind me”, said DK, and the rest of you giggled. 

As the car drove around town, you looked out the window to watch the city lights and neon billboard signs. “Can we play music ?” you asked, leaning towards the front row so that the driver could hear you. He nodded, and Woozi proposed to play his playlist, to everyone’s refusal. 

“ABSOLUTELY NOT” You protested, war flashbacks from when you saw his Spotify playlist for the first time coming back to your mind. Everyone laughed once again, and Vernon plugged his phone into the AUX cord, before turning back to the people in the back rows: “Don’t worry, I have acceptable music taste... unlike some people here”. Woozi laughed and you gasped, hitting Vernon on the shoulder. “I do NOT have bad music taste !” “Yeahhh… suuree” Mingyu teased. 

You tried to seem offended as the rest of the boys taunted you, but inevitably crackling up with them. Before you knew it, you’d made it to the hotel. 

You carefully opened the car door and stepped out, taking a second to look up at the hotel, which from where you were standings seemed to rise till the heavens. “Woaaah we can see this building from the Pledis rooftop. “Yeah!- answered DK, surprised- You’ve been on the rooftop ?” “Just once”, you admitted. You followed the guys into the hotel, the doorman leaving the door open while you walked in. You scanned him: combed hair, didn’t look older than 19, with his deep green uniform being a tad too big for him. That last fact made you smile, but you didn’t have time to think about it, because you’d finally noticed how pretty the hotel lobby was. 

Everyone was dollwed up in dresses, pearls, suits, and you felt grateful that you’d bought the dress. _At least i don’t feel underdressed…._

One of the boys called the elevator, and the five of you walked in. Ignoring the awkward elevator music, Vernon spoke: “Nice hotel, huh ?”. You nodded, and Woozi added: “The restaurant is on one of the top floors so you’ll see, the view is to die for…”. On that note, the elevator stopped, the little mechanical bell chimed, and the doors opened to reveal the restaurant. 

It was huge, modern but with golden accents scattered all over, plants at every corner, and the staff fast-pacing around the practically-full tables. The best part, though, was the wide glass panes that made up the entirety of the walls, giving you the prettiest view of Seoul in the night-time. You didn’t let your awe slow you down, and followed the waitress around the restaurant. “Watch your step-” Woozi said, quickly lending you his hand to help you down a step, which you gladly accepted, since you were in heels “Thank you-”. The waitress eventually stopped and gestured towards a table next to the window. 

Finally seated, you fangirled with the rest of the guys. “OH my god this hotel is so pretty!” “I think they have an arcade room that we can check out too”, answered Mingyu excitedly. Woozi smiled, and said he was glad that you all liked it.

Ordering the food was the hardest part, since you were ridiculously indecisive tonight: everything on the menu just seemed so good ! “Hurry up, y/n… Waiter is waiting…” DK said jokingly, to put pressure on you. “I hate you..” You murmured, before smiling at the waiter taking your order “I’ll have the salmon, thank you.” You handed him your menu, before giving DK a death glare, causing general laughter at the table.

Mingyu cleared his throat, to have the attention on himself, and spoke: “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but miss y/n over here has finally picked a Unit.” “Wait, really ?” Vernon asked, curious.

“Well you have to tell us which one it is, now.” added DK. 

“Right! i picked the vocal unit, i forgot i didn't tell you guys”

Vernon and DK were overjoyed, throwing out all their “I KNEW IT” ‘s and “I could've bet money on that”’s, and you glanced at Jihoon, seeing him smiling as he watched the two’s reaction. You were so happy right now… _Please never make this end…._

“This calls for celebration”, one of the boys said, calling a waiter over to order a bottle of champagne. 

==================

You brought the fork up to your mouth and hummed with delight. _This is the best.day.ever._

Of course, not wanting to waste any opportunities, you made sure to taste everybody’s meal, leaving Jihoon’s plate for last. You stared at him patiently, like a tiger stalking its prey, and when you judged he was distracted enough, you swiftly piqued your fork into his plate and rushed it into your mouth. “Hey! Thief!” He protested, but all you did was laugh. As a form of payback, he did the same to you, loading his own fork with salmon from your plate and eating it while looking at you straight in the eyes. You smiled: “Now we’re even”.

Once the meal was over, though, none of you wanted to leave. Taking the elevator back down and opening the car door would mean that the dream is over, that we’ve headed back to reality. No more off days, no more skyscraper views, no more Jihoon, Mingyu, Seok-Min and Chwe in suits all laughing together at the dinner table. 

Still, you couldn’t sit at your empty table forever, so the guys finally got up and one of them called the elevator. _Ding._ The mechanical doors opened, and the five of you stepped in. To your surprise, you realised the elevator was going up instead of down. 

“Oops~” said Mingyu, smiling like a kid, “looks like i pressed the button leading to the rooftop instead of the lobby… what a shame…” 

“Oh nooo i was so looking forward to going back to work~”, joked Vernon.

The elevator bell chimed once again, and as soon as the doors opened, the boys rushed out. As you took a step outside to follow them, you were hit by the cold wind, and took a deep breath. From up here, you had a 360 view of the city during night-time. 

_What a sight…._ you’d lived in Seoul for years, but couldn’t remember when was the last time you’d seen it from so high up. You tried finding the Pledis building, but quickly gave up as the dark sea of rooftops was so vast that it was impossible to pinpoint a specific building. As you walked closer to the railing, you were able to hear what the guys were talking about- or rather, arguing about: “It was a plane, i tell you! Satellites are waaay quicker than that” “It was going quick, though ? Are you blind ?” “Dude have you ever even seen a satellite?” “HaVe yOu eVeR SeEn a saTeLLiTe ?” One of them mimicked, and you burst out laughing. 

  
  


**_BANG_ **

Before anyone else could react, a firework burst into the night sky- then another, and another. 

Entranced, you all got closer to the railing, watching the bright colors fill up the sky. You could feel the bang of the fireworks in your chest, like a constant rubble that you knew would leave you feeling empty once it was over. Orange, red, pink skies, alternating colors, patterns over a black backdrop.

You looked around, smiling as you saw your friends’ eyes glimmering in front of the spectacle, but you quickly noticed Woozi wasn’t staring at the fireworks, and instead looking at you, in awe. Once he saw you’d caught him staring, he swiftly turned away. 

“What ?” You asked, confused, leaning closer to him so that he could hear you over all the noise. 

He finally looked back at you, his face illuminated by the flashing colors of the fireworks. “I just… got inspired to write a song”

You smiled. “That’s good! That might mean we’ll get a break earlier than anticipated!”

He smiled back at you. “I guess.”

For a reason unbeknownst to you you began to feel pinpricks of warmth building up in your chest. The words rose up faster than you could temper, dipped in honey, “You’re so great, you know that ?” 

As soon as the words left your mouth, your heart sunk. _He heard it._ The affection in the tone of your voice, sweeter than usual, completely genuine. The way it came from the hearth below your heart. _He must’ve heard it… why did i have to say it like that ?_ “I- I’m sorry i didn’t-” 

“Thank you.” He cut you off. “But you know, I'm only great because everyone in Seventeen is great too. I wouldn’t have pushed myself this far if it wasn’t for you guys” 

_Thank god._ You smiled and nodded, heart still racing from the fear that he’d misunderstand what you meant, and kept on watching the fireworks.

  
  


==============

The chauffeur pulled up in front of Pledis, and got down to open the car door for you as you stumbled out the car. “She’s drunk, someone help her walk” Vernon’s voice echoed in the empty street. Trying your hardest to keep your balance while in heels, you disagreed: “I am PERFECTLY capable of walking on my own, thank you very much.” 

“Yeahhh right, Mrs.I-Can-Handle-Five-Shots-In-A-Row, not even a little bit tipsy, i'm sure…”

“You’re ALL tipsy…”. Still, you felt your cheeks burning. You were hot and cold at once, and the tips of your fingers tingled as they came into contact with your warm face. You hadn’t felt it in the car, but now that you were standing up, all you wanted to do was sit back down again.

They chuckled, knowing you were right, but Mingyu still gestured at Jihoon who nodded, took his jacket off and wrapped it around you. He half-whispered, as he opened the door for you: “Let’s get you to your room”.

He led you across the reception hallway, up the three floors, until you had your hand on the door handle and swung it open. Even in your hazy state, you’d noticed he wasn’t heading back down the stairway, but rather began walking down the hallway. “Not going back to your dorm ?” you asked, louder than you’d expected. 

He turned back at you and shook his head. “No.. I have a song I really want to write...”

“Need any help writing it ?” You’d asked, but before letting him answer, you’d already taken a step down the hall.

He looked at you, soft, unshielded, vulnerable almost. “I’ll be alright...you already helped…” 

“What ?” you mumbled, starting to realise just how tired and drowsy you were.

“Goodnight… sleep well”.

Before you knew it, he was gone, leaving the hallway empty and dim-lit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1887


	13. Mae day-

_ // TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter: Alcohol & Drinking // _

Your hand slipped off the door handle as you took another step down the hall. Although you were exhausted, you didn’t feel like going to bed anymore. 

Walking past Vernon’s room, you noticed the warm light slipping from under his door. You froze in place for a second, not keeping your eyes off the light, attempting to stay as quiet as possible so that he didn't come check on you. After a few seconds, you saw the light disappear, leaving in its place a slit of darkness, and let out a breath you hadn’t noticed you were holding, before finally pushing open the door leading to the stairway. 

You already knew where you were headed, and walked up the stairs- If someone had been watching you, they might’ve said you looked confident, if it weren’t for your little trips and stumbles, causing you to grip onto the railing until you finally gave in and took off your heels. Grasping the shoes in one hand, you eventually made it all the way up and pushed the rusty door handle down, leaning onto it as it swayed open.

The view wasn’t comparable to the one from the skyscraper, but the air felt just as cold. Or was it because you were barefoot on cold concrete ? You didn’t really know. 

Steadily, you walked away from the door. The humidity had left little beads of icy water sprinkled along the already-frozen railing, but you ignored it, desperate for something to hold onto. 

_ This was a stupid idea… Why is it so cold tonight... _

You let yourself slide onto the ground, noticing the faint cloud of smoke trailing out of your mouth and dissipating after a couple of seconds suspended mid-air. Since when was there a hole in your chest ? It feels so empty…  _ How could nothingness feel so heavy ?  _ You focused on your breathing.  _ Now what ? _

Without thinking, you slid your phone out of your pocket, staring at it aimlessly then wiping the screen with your sleeve.

The next thing you know, the line is ringing at the other end. The ringing stops and you can make out the sounds of chatter in the background. “Hello, Seoul Garden Restaurant, how can i help you ?” 

The voice at the other end of the line sounded familiar, but you didn’t have the brain capacity to think “Can i…”. You paused. Your eyes were locked onto the wide-open door that led into the lit stairway. __

“Hello ? I didn’t catch that, sorry”, the voice echoed.

“Mae”.  _ Did I say that out loud ? ugh.. my head hurts… _ Any effort you made to try and keep your thoughts straight just made you feel worse.

There was another pause, before the gears in your head began turning once again. “Sorry, i didn’t mean to call, i’m not hungry, it was just out of habit-” “Oh! You’ve ordered from us before! I saw you this morning! ” The enthusiastic girl replied. 

Another pause, as you tried to make out what she just said. “...Ah… Yeah, my friend likes the tteokbokki... you remember us ?” “You’re regulars, of course I do,” She answered, laughing, “Your friend, he’s the short one, right ?” “Yeah, he’s cute isn't he ?” “you sound like you’ve… had a fun night. You sure i can’t get you anything ?”, she sounded concerned, which caught you by surprise. “No, thanks… I don't have money on me anyways…” “Alright, have a nice rest of your night, make sure to order from us soon!” “Wait-” You blurred out. For a second, you winced as you felt a headache building up, but kept on talking: “- what’s your instagram?” 

It was her who paused, this time, probably hesitant- the thought of giving your socials to a random stranger doesn’t sound really appealing, does it ?- before spelling out her username and wishing you a good night once again. You tried your hardest to remember her name, typing it as fast as you can onto the search bar, which admittedly, wasn’t very fast, but you eventually found her. 

Your thumb lingered over the blue “Follow” button.

_ It’s too late to be scared of embarrassing yourself now, anyways. _

You pressed down, and the button switched to white. 

_ “Following”  _

Half a second later, she followed you back. 

===============

_ Ugh.. I left my room door wide open…. hopefully no one came by... _

Turning on the room lights left you blind, but you walked in anyways, throwing the pair of heels in a corner as your eyes adjusted to the brightness. You dreaded the thought of having to change and tidy your room before being able to sleep, but even drunk you knew that if you didn’t at least get into pjs, you would regret it in the morning- not to mention that the warm fabric was definitely and upgrade, in comparison to the dress. 

_ Should I wash my face ?  _ You quickly glanced at your bed..  _ Nahhh it’s fine i’ll do it in the morning _

Lights off, pjs on, phone plugged into its charger.  _ Then why can’t I fall asleep ? What time is it ? 3am ? 4am ?  _ You turned onto your side, in a futile attempt to find comfort, then turned to the other side.  _ No… this feels wrong… maybe if i slept on my back ? …..Nope… UGHHHHH _

Pissed off, you lazily grabbed your phone again.  _ 3:26am. _ Opening the notes app, you wrote down every thought that passed through your head. “It's 3:26am….This sucks...I want to sleep….today was fun…. i don’t want to work tomorrow…” Slowly, you lowered your phone screen until the radiant white light emitting from it was muffled by your sheets, and the thoughts raced in your head as your mind slipped into darkness.  _ He’s as bright as a star… i can’t believe i ever thought he was shy… we’ve come so far... _

You’d dreamt of planes and satellites, of gemstones embroidered into thick black fabric, of street signs in French. None of your dreams ever made sense, and yet again, why would they ? 

Waking up with a headache was the worst part of your morning, but you made the wise decision of cleansing out your face and following your skincare routine that you’d skipped the night before. As you splashed your soapy face with warm water, your phone rang.  _ Great.  _

Although trying to answer the call all while having soaking wet hands was a nightmare, you finally did it- not without practically drowning your phone in splotches of water- and Minghao’s voice blasted through your speakers: “Heyy, good morning! We have an urgent meeting, Jihoon says he wrote a new song and-” “WhAT ?”- You cut him off. 

You rushed out of your bathroom, swinging open your dresser, throwing a random outfit onto your bed all while taking your top off. Clothes finally on, you ran out the door, not without having to do a double-take to turn off the faucet that you’d forgotten about.

You basically sprinted down the stairs, hoping your laces were tied well enough, and pushed the door to the 5th Dance Practice Room open. Most of the guys were already there, standing around, Woozi’s office door wide open. As you paused at the doorway, out of breath, you realised Vernon and Seungkwan were right behind you, which now meant everyone was here. “Great,” S.coups began, giving you all a little bit of time to settle and sit down on the floor “i assume you all know why you’ve been called in earlier than usual, but i’ll repeat it nonetheless: We have a new song, the title hasn’t yet been confirmed, but we’re leaning towards  _ Alive Again”  _

The boys started talking with each other, like a class of rebellious boys. We all assumed that the new song would mean less pressure and a possible break soon, but everyone seemed tense. 

Seungchol proceeded to give us our weekly schedule, and at 8am, it was practice time. 

============

Right after morning practice, you jogged to catch up with Woozi in the noisy hallway, since a few people were practicing next door: “Jihoon!” 

He turned around, papers in one hand, gym bag in another, still slightly out of breath from the dance practice. “When did you have the time to write a song ?” 

He laughed a little, visibly confused.“Last night ? I pulled an all-nighter, I told you I was going to write a song.” 

Sure enough, you recalled seeing him telling you he had a song to write before running away, although the memory was hazy. “You should've let me help you! You must be exhausted !”

“I’m alright, i promise, i’ll sleep tonight,” He said with a smile, trying his best to be reassuring, then looked down at your gym bag in your hands “I’m headed to the gym with Hoshi, care to join ?” 

“ah..um…” You winced again,feeling as if your head was pushed to one side.  _ Lord, I promise to never touch alcohol again. _ “I'll pass, I have to go eat now- you pointed at the building's front door- because If I don't eat now, I won't have the time to do so later… super busy afternoon”. He nodded, wishing you good luck, and kept on walking, leaving you and your disorienting headache behind. 

It was insane how Woozi constantly kept producing songs, as if he was running out of time. Although he worked in your room a lot and came to ask you for feedback, you weren’t quite used to it. 

Unfortunately, you weren't blessed with all the time in the world to ponder over your friend's insane work ethic, and had to find a place to eat: it’s called a lunch break after all. You pulled the lever of the slot machine in your head, weighing all the factors to be able to choose the perfect restaurant, but quickly cringed as you remembered your late-night conversation with Mae. In a sigh, you decided that you’d better go apologise, which meant that fifteen minutes later, you were crossing at a stoplight, trying to remember at what street corner you had to turn.

Finally, you recognised one of the building facades that you’d seen yesterday, and turned the corner. Sure enough, this was the place!  _ Nobody is ever allowed to make fun of my sense of direction skills ever again.  _

It’s at this point you realised you were still in your sweaty dance attire- which you also happen to have picked out at random, while in a rush, so it’s twice as bad-, and the cherry on top was the fact that you had your gym bag slung across your shoulder. 

“Awesome, I look hideous…great way to make a first impression” You muttered, nevertheless, mustering the courage to open the door and not ignore the inevitable social interaction that was to come. Not letting the warmth of the shop and the smell of the food distract you, you attempted to memorise what you were going to tell Mae once you’d make it to the front of the line, but by the time it was your turn to order, you didn’t know your lines by heart.  _ Oh god oh no- is it too late to leave- _

But before you had the time to run for it, your extroverted cashier and delivery girl caught sight of you-“Hi ! Nice to see you’re doing better than yesterday, what could I get for you ?”

Your internal monologue froze, like a deer caught in headlights, you stammered: “Um.. i… wanted to apologise for yesterday…” 

You were worried, but she made it clear that you shouldn’t be, playfully waving it off: “Nah, don’t worry about it! You seemed nice, i’m glad you talked to me first, i’ve been wanting to try and be friends for a while now- Oh don’t look so surprised, i’m serious” 

“Really ?”Nobody had ever told you that before “that makes me glad, I was really stressed about it on my way here, I thought you hated me...” 

“Don’t worry, we’re good. So, do I get you your usual ?” “Yes please, that’d be great.” 

_ That went… a lot better than expected!  _

  
  


Your heart still beating from the fact that you had to engage in conversation with someone who you've drunk-called the previous night, you pulled a chair out from under one of the empty tables and settled down. Come to think of it, you’ve never actually eaten here before...

A shelf full of ornamental, intricate, hand-painted bowls caught your eye, and with your awe came a slight fear that they’d one day be knocked over. The entire shop played around with hues of gold, greens and reds, muted down by the dark-wooded parquet. The blinds being half-closed meant that the only natural light came from the translucid front door, all other sources of illumination being warm golden lights. The place just had this all-over homey feel that couldn’t quite be explained, a feeling that was ever the more accentuated by the radiant girl behind the cash register.

You gladly took this opportunity to catch up on your work, and after putting headphones on, you checked your emails and schedule, doing your best to mentally keep track of every meeting and upcoming lives.  _ Dang… i look so professional right now…. _

That was until, of course, you remembered you were in sports clothes instead of a pantsuit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2242


End file.
